13 Hypotheticals
I took my youngest to the pediatrician this afternoon and stepped onto this bouquet when I got out of the car.
It seemed oddly out of place. Below are 13 hypothetical case scenarios for how it got there:
- A boyfriend tried to make up with grocery store flowers and his offense was too strong.
- A guy put them under his girlfriend’s car with a note on the windshield saying to look under the car but she never did because the wind blew the note away.
- Some guy with a crush on one of the nurses brought flowers for her but as he was about to go in, he lost his nerve.
- A girl accepted them from a guy the night before and that day she was going to the doctor with her child and she threw them out the window realizing she didn’t have time to date.
- A girl bought them for herself because she hasn’t had a date in years and she wanted to do something nice for herself on New Years. When she went to her doc appt she cast them into the lot swearing off men altogether.
- It was a nurses birthday and someone at work gave her flowers which she dropped while holding all the other bags and presents on the way to her car.
- Someone was selling them all day out on the corner and this was their last one: unsold, wilted, done and cast aside.
- Someone’s mother died and a coworker brought these flowers. The coworker hated her mother so she threw them down while leaving from work.
- A traveling vendor was pitching a “flowers for your office” camapign and was turned down. This caused the salesperson to cast down the bouquet.
- 3 weeks earlier these were given to someone at a funeral and they had been in the car, wilting and drying all that time. Taking a child to the doctor later they realized it and threw them into the lot.
- Aliens planted them there with a tiny camera that instantly affixed itself to the back of my retina when I looked at the flowers to view all my comings and goings the rest of my life.
- They were a drive-by throwing, random reason.
- And last-but-not-least: Every vase they were in broke, every nose that smelled them bled, when they threw them in the trash, it melted and trash ran down the driveway and the plastic made it stick to the concrete. The flowers themselves were unharmed, unchanged. The purchaser called a psychic hotline and they said the flowers’ curse could only be quelled by driving to a doctor’s office parking lot and throwing them into a parking space. Then and only then would the curse be lifted.
Any other case scenarios? Happy TT.
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Wow, that is a GREAT capture—poor little flowers-=–and a fascinating set of scenarios.
Very creative list of ideas. And now I’m curious too. How DID those flowers get there?
Here’s what really happened: the person purchased them cheaply at the nearest walmart supercenter, where the cashier bagged them in one of those cheap polybags that walmart is famous for, of which upon the arrival at the doctor’s office they fell out of the cheap polybag when the person stepped out of the vehicle and was just too lazy to pick them up and promptly tossed the polybag on the pavement also, and the wind quickly blew that into the nearest tree or shrub.
That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!
Great scenarios, all of them!!
Oh I think it was definitely #11 or #13. Great TT. What a cool idea.
Those are all so good, I never want to know the real reason!
What a clever post, Damien! If it were in Chicago, I’d say they were plucked away with a gust of 15 below zero wind and it would be too cold to chase them :)Happy TT-I haven’t written one yet. Thought it was Wednesday today. I’m all confused :)Jessica
These are brilliant, Damien! Especially No. 13 - are you sure ‘Stephen King’ isn’t a pseudonym for Damien Riley?
These theories have the makings of a movie consisting of several vignettes (like the "If These Walls Could Talk" films). At the very least, we could get Veronica Mars on the case to find out how those flowers wound up there.
That’s great Malcolm!
May 22nd, 2008 at 1:02 pm