Postcards from the Funny Farm

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Coke is the best sugar water on the market!¹ Not only does it have an indefinable carbonated sweetness, but it has a rich legacy of clever marketing language and music which I love to pore through in reverie.² The Coca Cola company must be staffed with masters of rhetoric. In the news today I read Coke recently purchased a mineral water company Glaceau for $4.1 billion.³ Although Coke has always been above Pepsi, they have not offered many formidable non-carbonated beverages. This buyout puts them once again above Pepsi who, up to now, has made more progress in that market.

I love Coke, and drink it often, but I know one day I’ll probably get diabetes and have to give up my favorite vice (it runs in my family unfortunately). Until that day however, I will enjoy the bubbly colored sugar water⁴ along with the majority of the world’s humans. Now that I’ve praised the sugar water for what it deserves, it might be wise to note for metaphor’s sake as we move on that, not everybody likes sweet stuff!

I have discussed in my archives how important it is in rhetoric to consider ones audience.⁵ Well, in the same way that sugar sells the bubbly water in Coke, so flattery sells a piece of writing. Becuase my readers possess a higher-than-average intelligence, I will give the backing here that this was originally one of Plato’s⁶ observations (well, not the Coke part but you know what I mean). Rhetorical flattery means crafting words to address one or more positive traits of the audience. A rhetorician, which I contend is any person using language, is much more likely to win over an audience by adding the device of flattery to her/his approach. How to flatter will depend on your upbringing , audience location, and personal tastes but here are:

3 Guidelines to Rhetorical Flattery:

1. Be subtle - A brief mention well founded goes a long way.
2. Be real - Plato would agree that “sophistry” was effective, but he didn’t live in the post modern era of cynicism.
3. Be selective - People are not 1 dimensional. Get to know your given audience and their “hidden” traits and you’ll be in like Flynn.

1. CNN.com Story on Coke vs. Pepsi [↩]
2. Coke Slogans on Wikipedia [↩]
3. Coca-Cola to buy Glaceau for $4.1 billion | Reuter... [↩]
4. Ingredients of Coke at Wiki Answers [↩]
5. My posts on audience [↩]
6. source [↩]