Postcards from the Funny Farm

Okay, husbands you probably already know this stuff,
-but-
to any fiancees out there: this post is for you!

First I must say this:

I have the most prized wife a guy could have, and don’t think for a minute this is a sarcastic poke at being married. I love it, I found my calling when I put that ring on her finger.

Okay, got that out of the way for any who might wonder. I wrote a short post the other day explaining why you should pay attention to your wife when you are giving lots of attention to your kids. That was just one thing I have learned at the school of hard knocks (on the door when I’ve been locked out). -just kidding that was just color added/not meant to be understood literally. I have learned that disclaimer is necessary since the blogging medium often begets literal translation of scarcasm. If you’ve read much of this blog, you should know I am keen on it.-

Anyway, the point is, marriage is like a whole new playing field for us guys than the boyfriend/girlfriend world. That is only a mere snapshot of the panoramic view you are thrust into after saying “I do.”

There is a lot to being happily married, but here’s 10 things I have learned for sure:

1. Wait!!! Just in general. Wait until she comes in the door before you. Onto the couch, into the car, sit down at the table, bed, etc . . .
2. Listen to how her day was FIRST!!! Then start spouting about yours if you must.
3. None of this you have a “BEST FRIEND” who is a woman who isn’t your wife. Good God. Thankfully this is one I always knew. A friend of mine has a fiancee who is continuing to insist a female friend will always be his best friend and she asked me if that is a “deal breaker.” My advice is clearly YES IT IS! 2 steps to resolve this: 1) Trade her as a best friend for your wife -or- 2) Go marry your best friend.
4. Say I love you and something nice every day. Forget and watch what happens.
5. Listen, ask her advice, think about everything she says . . . but LEAD when there is no direction ahead between you. This may be politically incorrect, but my wife and I seem to function better this way.
6. Your life is gonna change. Don’t fight it. Accept it. Change with it.
7. Get all the important dates in your calendar. Remembering dates is HUGE for a husband.
8. Make time for dates.
9. Make time for vacations.
10. Accept that your right to yell and “get stuff off your chest” is dead and buried. You’re a husband now and marriage isn’t a therapy group. When you got married, meeting your wife’s needs became your 100% job in life. Hate to tell ya this, but it’s a fact Jack.

That’s stuff I’ve learned. If you’re a fiancee, I think you’d do well to write them down.