Postcards from the Funny Farm

Imagining you are somewhere else can be the thing that gets you there sometimes.  Today I was out cleaning my pool and it was an extra heavy job.  I got sick last week and skipped a week of pool cleaning.  To make matters worse it’s just before payday and we don’t have the bucks until the first to get chlorine and the other chemicals we need.  To make matters worse yet, I discovered just this morning that the pump timer is broken so since last week, the pool has not been filtering.  Result? The pool looks like the green lagoon.

So what does this have to do with imagination?  Well, I really was getting nowhere with cleaning the pool.  What I really needed to do was get the vacuum down in the deep end and have it suck up like crazy.  It didn’t look that much different than a lake … actually :)

I swam around like a green monster cleaning his swamp and I must tell you had some of the best fun pretending that I’ve had since childhood.  My pool is now a lot cleaner and ready for the first when I run right over to the pool supply and get those chemicals to turn my imagination of having a clean pool into reality.

Oh, and note to self: budget pool chemicals in better.

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I realized tonight how there are so many faces to Damien.  Not only do I write three blogs but there are also potential hundreds of me in real life that could write more.  Sometimes, being able to bring the right one up on command is the key to successful living.

When I am at work, I teach with a certain demeanor.  I am with kids so I act silly and try to drop a lot of Nickelodeon references.  When I deal with co-workers I become a listener, a different sort of teacher, a coach, and maybe sometimes in the teacher’s lounge, a type that might complain once in a while.  As you can see I have already mentioned a whole lot of faces of me.

When I get home there is the husband to wife, “How was your day?” face.  The kids run up and hug my legs never to let go easily face.  There is the “Dad help me with my homework face,” and of course the one you see the effect of daily: the blogging face. All the promotional products on TV present so many discordant images of what face should be ours.

I think about how we need to be aware of the faces we show at different times in our lives.  I have given my son the frustrated teacher face one too many times.  He deserves the loving dad face.  I need to work hard at that.  When my 1 year old cries and reaches for me, she doesn’t need the blogger’s profile.  She deserves the loving, tickling, dada face.  This has been a quick blogging and life tip. Does any of this ring true with you and your faces?

Check out my other blogs at:

Damien at the Speed of Life

Dynamite Lesson Plan

A close friend who will remain unnamed is to be thanked for the idea here.  Folks, thanks for tuning in today to PFTFF (AKA Postcards from the Funny Farm).  In celebration of Damien Riley’s 1,000th post on Postcards he has agreed to sit with me and talk about his blog(s) and what he thinks after 1,000 posts have been submitted to the interweb.  Let’s jump right in:

How are you today?

Damien: Doing well.  Just watching Letterman here naked.  I’m a little worried about the laptop though, it feels a bit hot on top the lap.  Ha!  Just kidding, I’m never naked when I blog.

Ha ha. That is very funny.  Hey, thanks for talking to us today.  So how the hell did you write 1,000 posts in 21 months.  Is your melon warped?

Damien: Quite.  Recently I have started bic-ing my head.  The gray and receding hairline was really starting to bug me.  I found out my melon is a bit malshaped, but nothing that bothers my wife.  No, seriously though … I enjoy making posts.  They are therapeutic to me.  Many of those months my wife was not happy with all the time I spent blogging.  In the past few months though as you guys know, I have started making crazy money with this stuff.  I added two other blogs and now I am blogging for money all the time.  I take my wife out for cocktails and a movie once or twice a week on blogging money now.  Thank you to my advertisers and for Google for recognizing me at a solid 4/10 rating.  To summarize: My melon is warped, my psyche is not :)  I am well aware I work on my laptop and am happy with the pay (in all forms).

LOL.  Once again the joker.  So dude, I have to ask: why so many typos?

Damien: I am a search and plunk typist.  That means I look at the keys not the screen when I type.  I learned it wrong in high school and have never fixed it.  I am very embarassed I have so many typos.  I don’t know what to do.  Hopefully you guys will forgive me and try to fill in the blanks.

What are you going to focus on the next 1,000 posts?

Damien: Before I am 90, because I hope to live to 90, I hope to wear out 5 or 6 laptops.  Blogging makes my thoughts clearer.  I hope to learn more about writing and strengthen my mond while wearing out laptops.  I just got a fresh Acer.  My wife rocks.  She bought it for me because I had broken my last one.  I want to know what the people out of the web are saying and doing and of course, put me where the easy money is.  That is always nice (though now that I think of it, it’s not all that easy is it kids?  Do I get an amen?)

I see.  Well, this is a special day and we appreciate you answering these questions.  What word do you have for people reading this:

Damien: Don’t take yourself seriously, take yourself very seriously.  Care about other people and their brains and try to find something to love in everyone in your circle.  Mostly though, try to laugh and have fun, we’ll all be dead before you know it.  Seriously, the 1,000 posts thing is no big deal.

1,000 posts for this guy and counting!  I encourage you to give him some comments in this post.  It’s a landmark moment that will vanish like the wind in a day or so.  Thanks for reading!  Follow your vision.

Today’s concept: “Why we fear aging.”  I suppose a better title would be “Why DO we fear aging”  but I really don’t know.  In many ways, aging is a thrill.  I had a kid tell me today he found a synonym for “journey,” it was the expedition.  I was really proud of that student for noticing that in his reading.  Some might say you start out at the top of the cat pole and end up in the litter box.  I have to question that.  Aging is like a journey, but even more like a expedition, I think.

The other day a little scrappy kid whose brother I had last year in my class yelled across the playground at me: “What’s up Mr. Riley.”  I always feel so “hip” when they do that :)  What he said next though wasn’t so “hip,”

“You got old Mr. Riley.”

Now at first, I felt sad about this appraisal of my appearance.  Then, as any responsible parent or teacher would, I tried to understand why he would say that.  I came up empty … I do look older this year!  Even though I shave my head and have since I was about 26, the sides are getting quite gray.  My goatee is enjoying the same salt and peppering.  Usually when I look in the mirror I say: “You get better looking each day.”  but alas, I work with truth megaphones aka ;) little kids.

I think we fear getting old because we feel we won’t get what we want out of life.  We may fear that others will not like us as much and therefore we won’t be as successful.  When I think about it though, most the successful folks I know who are getting what they want out of life are over 50.  I haven’t even turned 40 yet.

I told my wife about the incident and she just laughed at me.  Maybe you out there can give me a pity party ;)

How are you doing on your aging expedition?

You may know the title is a John Lennon tune. I think getting through the night is sometimes easier said than done when you are down.  For babies, sometimes all you need to do is change the crib bedding, for grownups, it’s not always so easy.  There is a reason companies offer a plethora of choices for crib bedding that range as far across the comfort spectrum as blue jeans for grownups.  They want the babies to sleep, so they hook them up with comfortable stuff.

Everybody gets the blues sometimes. For some of us, it hits harder than others. I have an online friend who writes fluid prose with imagery about her travels through depression. When I read them it reminds me of those scenes in “What Dreams May Come” when the woman is in the broken up house and she can’t get out. Another online friend I know is going through some really tough times and has posted on her blog that it is so difficult to be inspired, she’s having trouble blogging. There is a lot of depression in the world, don’t be in denial if you get it too.

In this post, I offer you something that works for me. When I get scared, sad, or depressed my family and work potentially suffers. I want to crawl into a ball, put my favorite CD on and just shut everyone out until things get better. Unfortunately as an adult husband, professional, and father of 3, this isn’t always an option. Because of who I am and aim to be, I have to get through. Maybe you experience feelings such as these and would like a suggestion for help. When I have these feelings, one thing I try is to imagine I only have a limited amount of time to live.

For example, in the past I once received a note from a boss telling me she/he needed to meet with me immediately. This was on a Friday and I had no idea why the meeting was called. That was a 48 hour wait so as part of my therapy and keeping my spirits up, I imagined Monday was my last day on Earth. The result was, I hugged my kids all weekend and didn’t worry at all about the silly meeting. When the meeting did happen, it was about a silly rumor and my boss just wanted to let me know the real story … can you imagine the waste if I would have worried about it all weekend?

This may or may not work for you, but I have found it helpful. Do you have any tricks to get you through the night?

“We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.”
-Spider Robinson

Some of us are traveling in limousines, others are at the freeway on-ramp with cardboard signs. Regardless of the means, we are going from a point a to a point b every day of our lives. It is easy to look at other peoples work and art in life as nonsensical and bad. Have you ever seen a car with a million poorly placed stickers on it and gone: “Why? It is such a nice car.” That is their art and you should respect it. Once we were down at the beach years ago and I was making sand castles with my niece. I saw the remnants of a sand castle with sticks like towers and assumed the creator was long gone. It was in a good spot so I swept it away as if it never existed. I think the creator must have been mentally ill because she came screaming at me and my young niece as if we were the devil for destroying her sand castle. We got through the scene some how and relocated. Luckily it didn’t seem to affect my niece much but I thought about it for weeks after. I really felt bad about it.

The sand castle wasn’t the real lesson here. For me, it was a lesson about other people and respecting the art they create along the journey. My recommendation is to be very slow to criticize the art that people make whether it is their bumper stickers, their sand castles, or … the way they do simple things in life. It never hurts to give compliments, you can find one for anything. Another way to grow in this area: do a listening experiment.  I hope the sand castle incident will have the same effect on you as it had on me and make you less reckless with other people’s art and hence other people’s emotions. Just like an effective acne treatment, so your words can help and heal someone struggling.

Folks, I have been to the mountain and it is ColdPlay’s new single … Maybe it will be like cotton candy and I’ll be sick of it soon but it is on infinite repeat for now in my Windows Media Player. Give it a listen/read and see if I lie. So, if you are wondering how it relates to psychology and inspiration? Music can bring out psychology and memory we’ve forgotten for years, as well as new inspiration. Music has everything to do with the senses and memory and love and well therapy … but who really cares about “niches” when you’re in love with a new song?  Your thoughts? Interpretations?  As for me, I have been owned. Coldplay must have been riding horses or something on those english saddles to get inspired and create such a work of art.

Streaming Link: Viva la Vida

Verse 1:
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies’ eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
“Now the old king is dead, long live the king!”
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castle stands
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a’ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can’t explain
Once you’d gone it was never,
never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn’t believe what I’d become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh…who would ever wanna be king

I hear Jerusalem bells were ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs were singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can’t explain
I know St. Peter won’t call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

Bridge:
Whoaaa (x4)

Bridge and Chorus mix:
(Whoa…) Here Jerusalem bells were ringing
(Whoa…) Roman Cavalry choirs were singing
(Whoa…) Be my mirror, my sword and shield
(Whoa…) My missionaries in a foreign field
(Whoa…) For some reason I can’t explain
(Whoa…) I know St. Peter won’t call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

Oooh Ooooh Oooh Ooooh… (until fade)

Today’s fast paced world leaves us all exhausted at the end of most days. Right now, as an example, I have that woozy feeling I have forgotten an appointment because I didn’t transfer it from my wallet to my Yahoo! calendar. Oh well, if I did I did. I’m pretty good about that usually. Anyway, with life being so fast, as Randy Pausch reminded us all, I think it’s really important to have some therapeutic reverie once in a while. I talk about W.I.N. with my team at work and sometimes, reverie needs to be “what is important now.” One day it may be getting your kid immunized, another it might be to buy pet supplies.

Looking back at life’s seasons and grand events helps us move forward more bravely. When we can see our bio as separate from our now it makes us seem greater than we are, or at least more able. I recommend listing your accomplishments by decades but if you are in your twenties or younger, that’s not much of a filing system. Separate your life into sections you find relevant, but try and do it when you can steal away for some quiet time. You can draw mantras from these for the upcoming year (ie; “I carried my running team by gaining 4 points in the finals”)

Here’s a portion of mine as an example:

Decade 0-10

• I was put into the gifted and talented education program in 2nd grade.
• I wrote “Swimmy the Turtle” and won 2nd place in the state fair in 3rd grade.
• more

Decade 11-20

• I learned every guitar riff The Alarm recorded.
• I got my first job as a printer’s apprentice.
• I trained as a camp counselor and counseled on summer.

Decade 21-30

• I met and recorded with my rock hero Dave Sharp of the Alarm.
• I got a job teaching at 27 in an inner-city school.
• I got my Master’s Degree at age 28.

Decade 31-39

• I got married at 33.
• by 38 I had my third kid and decided that was plenty ;)
• I bought my first mortgaged home at 39 and it has a pool!

If you try it, have fun with it. I suppose if you’re a blogger you might want to consider it like a meme. Please do! Everyone else, just thank goodness you aren’t self-absorbed as we bloggers and do it on a notepad and save to your desktop. It’s therapeutic and an absolute recommendation from me. Can you say “absolute recommendation?” Hmmm. Ok well, regardless, I recommend doing it. Life is good, but it will pass you by if you don’t stop once in a while.

NOTE: This is not a paid endorsement for Skechers shoes. I just like them a lot ;)

New shoes for a new year, that’s one of my simple pleasures in life. For my one-year-old I’d compare it to new crib bedding (which we just bought for her from a ritzy designer baby place for the new year. Some of your are wondering, “Did he write new year?” Yes, Teachers are kind of like the Chinese that way, we have a weird time we start our years. Usually it’s around August. But back to new shoes being simple pleasures. I haven’t indulged in it for 3 years so this is something special I had to write about!

Sometimes it’s those simple pleasures that give us the fuel we need to do great things. I start back to work teaching in the 2008-2009 school-year tomorrow. My teaching job can be hot and cold but it is always is always an over-brimming source of material for my online diary.

The brand of shoes I bought is “Skechers,” a once small company from Southern California that has now become a household word like Vans or Stride Rite. I don’t know how the name evolved exactly but I remember growing up in the 80’s when surfers in my region would use the term “sketchy” as slang to mean “frightening.” Mostly it was used with regards to big waves ie;

Dude, that giant wave was skecthy.

I guess that’s why I have worn Skechers all these years. They are quality shoes and very comfortable, but it is something about that association with thrill-seeking, with surfing that keeps me buying them. They aren’t cheap at 60 bucks a pop. Still, it’s something we try to budget it in because of its importance to me. I laced mine up tonight and set them at the bottom stair ready for “the waves” that will come tomorrow. Even though I start teaching in the morning, I feel like a kid before his first soccer game.

You may not like the style of Skechers. You may prefer some other specialized “body armor” to wear to work. It is not the brand that makes it better, it’s your excitement. No one may ever notice the type of shoes you wear. If you’re a woman, then maybe no one will have noticed your new bracelet, or power skirt etc. The point is, there is a psychology to new things you assign meaning to that will make you more creative, innovative, and in many ways better.

If you’re facing a rocky climb ahead, it might seem more like a brick wall … try some new shoes.

If you’ve been watching the olympics as I have lately, I know you’ve added respect for the athletes.  Yesterday I saw the diving and gymnastics and it was both entertaining and inspiring.  There are 5 key take-aways I get from the Olympics that make me better for watching! Even the kids are putting away their playstation 3 games and tuning in.

1. They are practiced.  The reason they step up to the diving board with confidence is because of this.  Things I can practice?  Lesson delivery, Spanish conversation … the list goes on.
2. They are genuinely excited to be there.  I wish more people in the world had that “arrival” sense of being where they are supposed to be.  I need to remember the first time I blogged and how I would have loved to know the things I know how.  In addition, my first day of teaching back in 1997.
3. They accept coaching.  The gymnastic coaches were right there with them and they seemed to work in perfect harmony.  Do you view coaching as something for the weak?  If so, work on that attitude.
4. They wish each other well before and after the game.  We all know this, but do we practice good sportsmanship?
5. -and finally- They seem themselves as role models from “afar.”  Any famous athlete has a public relations agent.  Olympians know kids are watching them and so they make decisions carefully about the image they portray.  We may not be olympians but many people are watching us in our “circle.”