Postcards from the Funny Farm

Richard Henry Dana wrote as an “onboard diarist” in the 1830’s of his discovery at Dana Point, California, a beautiful Southern coastal boundary of Orange County in his classic work “Two Years Before the Mast:”

Revolutions are matters of constant occurrence in California. They are got up by men who are at the foot of the ladder and in desperate circumstances, just as a new political party is started by such men in our own country. The only object, of course, is the loaves and fishes; and instead of caucusing, paragraphing, libelling, feasting, promising, and lying, as with us, they take muskets and bayonets, and seizing upon the presidio and custom-house, divide the spoils, and declare a new dynasty. As for justice, they know no law but will and fear.

I was struck by this quotation in how California appeared so primal and brutal to this Englishman exploring and writing about the Southern coast. I think he perceived that Christianity and “culture” brought civilization to the land. On the other hand, he writes throughout his tome on how wonderful the beans and tortillas and spicy foods were that the natives made for him. He refers to their “constant occurrence” revolutions as bad things. Maybe we could use one today. Over a hundred years later, what does Dana Point look like to an Englishman observer? Well, I guess I qualify. I’m Irish with an advanced degree in English. I also managed a Pizza Hut there from 2000 to 2002 so here goes.

The beaches are spectacular. The buildings and hotels along the cliffs are ominous yet alluring. They speak to visitors in a whisper saying: “Wealth buys comfort . . . luxury is better than integrity . . . live posh for tomorrow we die.”

Driving down PCH, one is barraged on all sides by the elite cars of our times: Lamborghini, BMW, Mercedes, Ferrari. One can’t help but imagine how much is lost on a lesser car of reasonable means.

There are casualties on the corners with signs, “Help . . . need food . . . have kids.” There are 10 year olds dodging them on bikes more expensive than my car. And then there are the imagined scenes . . . the ones you don’t see. The drugs. The depression. The debt. Many behind Orange curtain suffer from dark depression, unable to understand and keep up with what the lifestyle there requires. This is the dark side of the Orange County. Dana Point is pretty, but some people are killing themselves to live there and eating beans from a can.
When I lived there I paid $1,000/month rent for a tiny studio apartment (my kitchen was in my bedroom). Up here where I live now that same amount rents you a 2-3 bedroom. I think the rent in Dana Point is astronomical. I guess it’s the beach. I’m not sure what that does for the neighborhood. Maybe it’s a good thing?

My apologies if this post comes off negative toward someone living in a “Dana Point” like city. Don’t get me wrong. Dana Point Harbor is a beautiful walk and driving through Dana Point is like a fresh drink of cool water. I love visiting there. But I can’t help but ask myself if the land is any better off now than it was when Richard Henry Dana wrote about the “simple minded” natives there. Are the denizens there higher thinkers now?

I simply use Dana Point as a symbol of one dark aspect of Orange County and Dana Point’s dark side is no worse than Irvine, Costa Mesa, Laguna Beach . . . the list goes on. My friend Eric Stefani wrote a similar sentiment in his award winning songs “Tragic Kingdom” years ago, only his Dana Point was Disneyland. I am sure many as they read this can name their own “Tragic Kingdom” or “Dana Point” in a heartbeat.

Living in luxury is a natural human dream, but many in Orange County have not counted the cost. that is a fact I have seen through having lived there for 33 years. Ok, that’s it on that thought . . . I promise!

Next in the series will be a lot more light hearted. This dark part of Orange County doesn’t mean we can’t have fun and believe me . . . WE DO!!! I will be exploring in my next post for this series: a cup of coffee through Orange County as I have known it! (did you know I was a barista(o?) in grad school???) Read and laugh about it in my next post.