Postcards from the Funny Farm

Listening is a lost art.  I find myself, as a type-A personality, often monopolizing the time for conversation at meals, meetings, events, etc.  Still, I recognize the power of listening.  For everything I hear, I get at least 2 ideas to say back.  I must admit, it is sometimes hard to hold those ideas in.  It is this feature of my persona that makes me effective in some situations, and less effective in others.  Being a listener can be just as important in winning an audience as being a speaker.  And, the more exposure a writer gets to varied points of view, the better that writer can focus an argument.  You might say there is a benefit in “rhetorical listening.”  I give some directions how to do it below:

When rhetorically listening, assume everyone you come into contact with has an inborn yearning to be understood.  Then, resist any impulses to interrupt others.  Force yourself to let them finish.  Let them get through to you, even if you don’t know or don’t care about what they are saying . . . suspend judgment and let them express it as fully as they want to.  Last, listen in context to who they are. 

Going to a wedding may not be the same to someone who is happily married as to someone who recently divorced.  So, the words people say must be heard through the context of their experience which makes them who they are.  Respect who they are, and fight the urge to hear them through your filter.  Develop a way of seeing their point through their kaleidoscope.

At the end of the exercise you will undoubtedly find that you are a more effective communicator.  Rhetoric is all about considering the audience and crafting your words around the audience’s hopes, dreams, fears and desires.  I think all type-A’s like me should practice this exercise often.  But it’s good for every writer.  The more one does it, the more universally effective one will be at writing.  It puts away the “I” and gets the emphasis on the “Other” which is where it should always be when attempting to persuade.