Postcards from the Funny Farm

This is an opinion piece that includes religion.  I want to make clear that I value each of my individual readers and I hold no judgment against any chosen belief structure out there.  If you read this blog, you are intelligent.  If anything in this post offends someone out there, please disregard it.  The normally scheduled psych/inspire stuff will return tomorrow.

One wealthy friend has lost over 100 grand in the stock market.  Other family members have frantically pulled their money out in fear.  Every day I read on Yahoo! news that the market has plunged another 7-800 points.  these are records since the great depression.  I have no money in the stock market, but if I did I think I would let it sit.  Unofrtunately, no one is doing that.  It is a mob mentality like a playground fight.  One kid takes a swing at another, then the mob comes in shouting “fight fight fight.”

Before you know it it’s a brawl like you never imagined.  People are giving up on America the same way.  We have some friends who have started a “Bible Study” of which the curriculum consists of guilt tactics to get people to go to church.  Let me be very clear that this is not my sort of curriculum.  My personal belief is that God is not concerned if you go to church.  However,  I will tell you I live by a strong backbone of the Christian faith I was raised in.  I don’t go to church much these days and I rarely read the bible but I know what it says quite well.  In times like these when the world is crumbling around us I hold on to one mantra (I’ll modify it for civil/non-religious folks and then give the one I use as a Christian):

Civil: Be still.

What we all can do about the mob mentailty of pulling out of the stock market is to be still.  I think most people would agree there are some great mantras in the bible, whether or not you profess to follow it in its entirety.

Religious: Be still and know that God is God

When a relative or friend calls you today expressing fear and panic about the mess we are in, be still.  This too shall pass.  In the end, the mob will be injured or dead … your peace of mind will be intact and God will still be God.  I’ve said a lot here, your thoughts are more than welcome.

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*This post references depression caused by the stress of losing a job.  These tips in no way substitute for medication when medically necessary and the advice of a physician or licensed therapist.  Having said that, they are practical tips for anyone that hopefully help through a tough situation.

I listened to George W. Bush speak to the nation tonight.  He said recession twice but I have heard many intelligent people predicting depression for our economy.  Ever since I was a young man in high school I have pondered the trillions in our deficit.  I have always wondered: “When will it all collapse?”  I really hope that time isn’t now. Like a baby falls asleep quickly on freshly laden baby bedding, I hope we as Americans have not fallen asleep and accepted a lie.

I TIVO-d the speech and now my wife doesn’t want to hear it.  She seems to feel she’s heard it all before.  I hate to say it, but this might be different.  I can tell you with certainty that real estate will never be the same in my lifetime and possibly in my kids’ lifetimes.  I wouldn’t recommend it as a career to anyone.

But this site isn’t about politics, it’s about psychology so let’s examine what you can do to avoid “the great depression” yourself should you lose your job:

1) Don’t panic or despair.  The creative centers of the brain are not free when you are in this state.  Focus inward and meditate.  Develop a mantra to keep yourself calm and mellow.  In this place you can find creative solutions.

2) Go back to college.  These days the best degree to have is a trade or certificate.  An advanced academic degree will prove more useful in an education career.  Look into financial aid, it’s out there.

3) Take a walk every day.  this will help you sort through things.

4) Limit TV time.  Use the time to read self-improvement books and make lists.  When you get a job, you can go crazy on the tv watching :)

5) Call loved ones just to chat.  This gives health to your bones.

6) Create accounts at all the online jobsearch companies and put yourself out there.

1. Yahoo! Hot Jobs
2. Monster
3. other local

Stay positive whatever you do.  Remember your mind is a fine instrument.  The treasured memories of your life are stored there.  Take good care of it and it will take good care of you.

I was discussing this series with my wife and she suggested I do a post on what spouses/loved ones should look for as symptoms of bipolar disorder.  After all, this is a mental illness so the person suffering it usually will not notice the symptoms on their own.  Here are some symptoms of a bipolar manic episode:

• Racing thoughts
• Decreased need for sleep
• Grandiosity
• Irritability
• Excessive spending, usually to the point of being overdrawn or maxing credit cards for silly items. Rule of thumb: If authorize.net starts calling your house repeatedly … something bad is going on.
• Highly verbal, almost annoyingly so to others.
• Not eating enough
• overly elevated mood and/or deep depression

Based on what I have read and put together, those are key signs.  You can get a broader and more formal perspective in the DSM section on bipolar/manic depressive illness.

Okay, so now you suspect your spouse or loved one has bipolar: Now what?

Bipolar is “special” among mental illnesses in that it has something called “The Manic Episode.”  People ranging from Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) to Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man) have spoken publicly about their manic episode.  Carrie Fisher talked about how she stared at the full moon all night with no need for sleep.  By the way, a little trivia: Carrie Fisher’s novel “Postcards from the Edge” inspired the title of this blog.  That, and Chevy Chase’s 1988 Mental Health humorous film “Funny Farm.”Okay, trivia over.  Robert Downey talked about how the mania brought on drug use.  The fact of the matter is that anyone who suffers a manic episode is lucky to be alive.  Extreme care should be taken with a spouse or loved one who is suffering through one.  They can last for weeks and even sometimes months and they are brutal to the person and anyone who is close to them.  The good news is, there are things you can do:

1. Stay calm and in control.
2. Call the local hospital and ask if they have a psych admitting ward.  Explain the situation.
3. Take them there for admittance or get a referral.
4. If you can’t get them admitted … try to keep them fed, get them to sleep if possible, keep them calm.
5. Unfortunately, some insurances will not pay for the hospitalization unless the patient is “a danger to themself or to others.”  This is a bummer but it is the reality.  Use your best judgment.

I hope this post on what to watch for will help you notice a loved one beginning or going through a manic episode.  Get psychiatric help, this is the key to avoiding disaster.

My hope in this series is to produce a paradigm shift in people’s attitude toward bipolar.  Remember when you were a kid and your parents said you were going somewhere really special?  Depending on your age, it could have been grandmother’s house or a flight to a 3 day stay at Disneyland.  Remember feeling your mood rise instantly beyond what is normal?  Well … that is normal.  Unfortunately for bipolars, their brain can experience this transition for no apparent reason at any random time.  You might think that it’s a good thing, how can it be bad to shoot up to a high mood right?  Well, when there are no logical reasons to be in such an elevated mood a bipolar person can succumb to all sorts of crazy activity … some of it potentially damaging, even deadly.  The brain is a fragile and delicate instrument and for those afflicted with bipolar, life is filled with all sorts of heavy duty work.

In a highly elevated mood, bipolars can experience what is called “grandiosity.”  This is one of the most malicious of all symptoms.  It has been described as a flight of ideas, the feeling one can conquer the world.  You don’t see yourself as Napoleon as a schizophrenic might, but you see yourself as like Napoleon out to conquer the world and you never feel as if you can lose.  This is one possible symptom of a manic episode.  The manic episode can last several days and I have even read of famous bipolars who experienced these for months or more.  This has an effect on blood pressure, spending, sleep habits, etc.  The manic episode has a profoundly devastating effect on relationships, jobs, family, and finances.  I read of one man who went to 20 stores over a 2 days period without sleeping to buy every Buzz Lightyear action figure.  When the episode passed, he realized he had maxed many credit cards in this manic acting out.  Bipolars in a manic state can be very offended and angry if you confront them.  Often this can lead to a straight jacket and a paddy wagon to a hospital.

Then there is the depression.  Just like on a globe there is a South pole and a North pole that are diametrically opposed, so the moods of a bipolar are polarized.  If you remember having a dog or pet die, you remember sinking moods.  Some drops in mood are inevitable in normal brains.  In biopolars they attack viciously with no regard for reason.  For bipolars, ones mood will drop from being manic to being in the utter depths of despair.  I know many people reading this understand depression.  We call this “unipolar.”  The psyche and mood of a person stays down too long and that produces debilitating issues for the depressed person.  For the bipolar person it can be multiple times worse due to all the damage one has done while manic.  Depending on how severe the episode, the bipolar may not even remember the insane theings she/he did while manic.  In a depressed state she/he is ill-equipped to pick up the pieces and get their mood back to normal.

It is like the mood thermostat is broken.  You might set it on “calm” but it fluctuates out of control without any mercy whatsoever.  The brain of a bipolar lacks the natural ability to adjust moods.  Thank goodness for bipolars, there is a wonder drug called Lithium that we will discuss in a future post.  Lithium acts as a repairman who can make the thermostat work a heck of a lot better than without.  As I discuss how Lithium works, I think you will be shocked and amazed to hear about the stigma that keeps many individuals and families from taking this drug.  The same way a Cat5e patch cable connects a computer to a network, si Lithium enables the bipolar to function in society. I’ll explain how it was discovered as a drug for bipolars and why anyone diagnosed with bipolar should talk to their psychiatrist about getting it if they haven’t already.  Lithium is the thermostat fixer for bipolar.  There is hope, thanks to Lithium.

You may know the title is a John Lennon tune. I think getting through the night is sometimes easier said than done when you are down.  For babies, sometimes all you need to do is change the crib bedding, for grownups, it’s not always so easy.  There is a reason companies offer a plethora of choices for crib bedding that range as far across the comfort spectrum as blue jeans for grownups.  They want the babies to sleep, so they hook them up with comfortable stuff.

Everybody gets the blues sometimes. For some of us, it hits harder than others. I have an online friend who writes fluid prose with imagery about her travels through depression. When I read them it reminds me of those scenes in “What Dreams May Come” when the woman is in the broken up house and she can’t get out. Another online friend I know is going through some really tough times and has posted on her blog that it is so difficult to be inspired, she’s having trouble blogging. There is a lot of depression in the world, don’t be in denial if you get it too.

In this post, I offer you something that works for me. When I get scared, sad, or depressed my family and work potentially suffers. I want to crawl into a ball, put my favorite CD on and just shut everyone out until things get better. Unfortunately as an adult husband, professional, and father of 3, this isn’t always an option. Because of who I am and aim to be, I have to get through. Maybe you experience feelings such as these and would like a suggestion for help. When I have these feelings, one thing I try is to imagine I only have a limited amount of time to live.

For example, in the past I once received a note from a boss telling me she/he needed to meet with me immediately. This was on a Friday and I had no idea why the meeting was called. That was a 48 hour wait so as part of my therapy and keeping my spirits up, I imagined Monday was my last day on Earth. The result was, I hugged my kids all weekend and didn’t worry at all about the silly meeting. When the meeting did happen, it was about a silly rumor and my boss just wanted to let me know the real story … can you imagine the waste if I would have worried about it all weekend?

This may or may not work for you, but I have found it helpful. Do you have any tricks to get you through the night?

A therapist told me, “The thirties are a time when you grow into your own skin.” and that was healing to me at the time. I had just turned 30 and was seeing her for depression and cognitive issues I was having. (people are saying … eeek, Damien is finally revealing things, well don’t get too excited, that wasn’t the half of it ;) Maybe hearing that explains the title of my blog a bit more.

At any rate, I love therapy and I have been in many therapists’ offices through the years. Words I have received from therapists have been some of the best advices I’ve ever received, even more than parents and loved ones. I know a lot of you reading this now even could benefit from a therapy session or two. If you want to discuss it further, leave your question/interest in the comments and maybe I can point you in the right direction. But back to my point: this woman told me that about the thirties and I remember thinking it was so hopeful. I felt like such a failure through my twenties about a few key things so it was like a chance to do things right: a birth so-to-speak.

Well folks, I will tell you that all I did was turn my now balding head and 39 candles were on my birthday cake. It goes fast so make it count. Being unsure of your career doesn’t go on a medical id bracelets. If you are not sure of where you are going, consider therapy … IGNORE THE STIGMA. What do you think about growing into your own skin? Are the thirties the time?

“How fragile we are.”
Sting

A single word can add value to your life. In college I read that in a book and tried it out. I bought a pack of 3×5″ cards on sale and searched my mind and dictionary for words to concentrate on. This had a profound impact on the anxiety and depression I suffered in that time. There were many I went though. I would write the word on a card and tape it to my bathroom mirror. I remember one word I had, for example, was the word “transcend.” I would repeat this word many times in my mind while brushing my teeth and routine grooming. The word took on new and deeper significance during this time and throughout my day. It was the most positive word I could think of and it was a word I wanted more of in my life. Sometimes I would be in class of just round about town and I would hear a word which I would in turn use in this manner. In a way, it is like a mini mantra or … mantra “concentrate.”

Part of fighting depression and anxiety is coming to the fight prepared and armed. A word chosen wisely and meditated on is a powerful tool weapon anyone can bring to the fight we call humanity.

I met a really visionary blogger this past year named David Masters and he writes a blog called “Be Playful.” I’ve guest blogged there in the past and he just published one of mine there today on “Playing Through Difficult Times.” I know some people going through tough times and others in their bliss out looking for birthday invitations. It just depends what cards you’ve been dealt. Maybe your play will earn you the money to go on a dream vacation?  You can even be playful as your picking and purchasing the tickets, according to David’s philosophy.  I was today and here’s a few things I learned about fares and places:

The flights to rome have been getting more expensive. There are no other cheap flights on the route, except for the flights to boston that take a fun touch down. The orlando flights too are a tad bit bigger.

this search could be a tedious task to the average person but even flight searching can be a blast.  David has shared there in the intro that he himself has been going through another not-so-fun task of moving. Maybe you are going through a difficult time right now. Maybe you know someone who’s lost their job or is just plain down. It may seem like the end of the world but remember that all experience is life experience. When you stop feeling pain you’re dead. I love the quote Woody Guthrie said: “Take life easy or take it hard but TAKE IT.” You can read all my favorite quotes here. My guest post at Be Playful is here.

Like Woody Guthrie says: “Take it easy or take it hard but TAKE IT!”

This post is inspired by and dedicated to my cousin. A rider of coasters of parks and imagination.

I enjoy roller coasters. Tonight I’m writing about them. At the pizza place tonight, my 3 year old daughter, Isabella, wanted to ride a small contraption for 4 tokens that called itself a roller coaster. It was a moving seat in front of a video tape of a real coaster. As I looked over it to make my decision as a dad whether it was an appropriate ride for her age and size, I found myself recalling some of the clinkety clankety roller coasters I’ve loved throughout the years. I let her ride it and I think I loved it more than she did and I wasn’t even in the rumbly seat. Rides create happiness. Because I write here about inspiration, psychology, and offbeat blogging, I thought this quite appropriate.

Roller coasters have woven in and out of my childhood, career, parenthood, and of course I’m sure those with better halves will agree: my marriage. They give you adrenaline, fear, exhilaration, and even exhaustion. We wait in lines for hours sometimes to get our chance to ride and when we’re done were told abruptly to get off. There is a psychology to wanting to ride and a psychology to wanting to stay off. Either way, the roller coaster is there … whether we rant loud or soft, we all get on and we all get off.

When we get inspired to do things, it’s like we’re on a ride. It’s so wonderful and our bodies feel light and invigorated, we laugh until we’re hoarse. But if we’re not careful, the highs of roller coaster inspiration can cause a fall. At the end of the fall, we may find depression or worse than that: no more inspiration. Though our lives are roller coasters, we need to remember this adage: It’s not how fast the roller coaster goes but how straight you walk out the exit. Drugs, for example, can cause you to stumble … and fall. Also, they can destroy brain cells and you can buy more like you would buy computer memory

I would never tell another human to not go on a ride, but I would tell them to stay cool when their riding high because the ground comes inevitably and the high can make you or break you when you’re talking about life’s coaster. People are great, in all their walks. This is no dress rehearsal, we are all on this coaster together.

We’d do well to use the loop-de-loops of life to store up energy. We will need it before we know it.

More people were using Prozac in the 1990’s than aspirin. It was the pop drug of choice for millions of mental health caregivers. Was all that prescribing warranted? We found that Prozac caused suicides and a set of other mental health impairments that were just as bad as depression if not worse. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying Prozac is a bad drug or even a dangerous drug. What I am saying is that we were abusing it as a society and some might argue it’s even worse now in the 2000’s. You see these cure-alls all over the place and some of them are effective but not much as they say (like for example colon cleanser for weight loss.)

So what about our drug these days? What are we using as a cure-all? The answer is: Xanax. Xanax shows up in my spam box about 100 times a day along with the other spam. We all get them and if you’re like me, delete them in the bulk folder of your email program. So why is Xanax so alluring? Simple … it’s a powerful tranquilizer that knocks you out. If your doctor has prescribed you Xanax, I am sure he/she had good reason but before you start popping pills to chill yourself out, consider the fact that it IS habit forming and you could get addicted. It can be possible to find calm and happiness without medication (though at time meds are the only way).

While I am a proponent of medication to balance ones brain chemicals, I feel strongly these drugs are over prescribed. To protect yourself you need to learn what makes you happy and what you enjoy. Those should be the first line of defense against anxiety. Your doctor should tell you that, but most pdocs do not. Unfortunately you have to do your own research on how to quell your anxiety before you visit the pdoc. It wouldn’t hurt to give them the benefit of the doubt and see them before you explore natural ways of calm, but rest assured, Xanax is only a short term cure for anxiety. When your body builds up a tolerance, then what?

*caveat: J has reminded us that Xanax is likely not addictive when prescribed in the correct way and dosage. I was referring to people who abuse it with or without a prescription. Even pdocs make mistakes so do what is right for you after getting educaated on what you put into your delicate brain chemistry. Thanks J.