Postcards from the Funny Farm

Before discussing the abstract art that we call bipolar, we have to look at diagnosis and what is required.  It seems like more and more news stories about rapists, murderers, garden variety psychopaths, and the like contain a tag at the end of something like:

“This story is truly a tragedy, such and such was being treated for bipolar before they went bad.”

You must have a heart for the bipolars out there who are living productive, often high-level professional albeit silent lives.  They are still dealing with the unbearable highs and lows (which we will discuss in a later post) and they also have to maintain in such a way as to never let anyone expect they have the specter.  After all, the evening news is no friend to bipolars.  They extend the stigma along with ill-informed people, the media, and Hollywood.  It puts an albatross around the neck of anyone who finds out they might have it. Many bipolars say it makes them want to search for the best flight deals out of town.

Even bloggers can spread false stigma about bipolar.  I remember reading one guy’s blog (I won’t link or mention it).  He would write everyday how the walls were breathing and making him angry and other outlandish truly psychotic things.  He would justify it by saying he was bipolar.  I wrote him a note saying his symptoms seemed more schizophrenic than and he said he had read a book and diagnosed himself as bipolar without ever seeing a psychiatrist.  Ah, the downside of the internet.

The number one enemy of people with bipolar is people who self-diagnose themselves as bipolar.

To be clinically diagnosed bipolar, according to the DSM, several quite explicit and profound symptoms must be present over time.  I read one doctor that said true diagnosis can take about 10 years.

The reason this is important is because we all have moods.  Just because someone has mood swings does NOT make her/him bipolar.  Often irresponsible people tell everyone they are bipolar before getting a medical diagnosis.  They do this for mixed reasons.  Bipolar unfortunately has become a “catch all” for people with issues.

Even if a responsible person feels moments of extreme highs and lows and goes to the doctor to get diagnosed, the doctor may be wrong.  Bipolars have to sort through feelings, facts, and the data day to day.  They have to become experts on their disorder because even the doctors can’t know for sure until time has passed and behavior observed.

Do you know someone who claims to be bipolar?  Have you seen a movie or news show that equated moodiness with bipolar?  Remember diagnosis is the key. If they aren’t seeing a psychiatrist regularly (either in real life or on the show) it is likely they are not truly the texbook bipolar.  Rather, they are part of a stereotype.  There is a lot more than mood to bipolar as you will learn in this series. Take this list linked below for example. It is famous people who have been clinically diagnosed as having bipolar.  Recognize any of them?

Remember seeing any of them frothing at the mouth or filmed in a straight-jacket?  Hardly.  Most of them are/were world changers and that’s one thing science can associate with bipolars.  I’ll bet you never heard that in the media!  Consider the silent bipolars when you hear and see the loud ones on your television screen.  Based on what I have researched and experienced regarding bipolar, I think society needs a real paradigm shift toward the truth about it.

Wiki partial list of Famous people with Bipolar

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You know it isn’t often I run across a blog and instantly become a fan. That’s how it was for me a few months ago when I found It Might be Love. Of course I am a hopeless romantic so this blog appealed to me right away. It’s an unobtrusive, unassuming blog that has a post every day on the issue of love in our lives. With so many blogs focused solely on material things or building traffic, it is refreshing to find one that is a niche blog about something so visceral and universal as love! Michelle Stein is the owner and main author of this blog. So far I have enjoyed reading her blog and writing there as a guestblogger. I asked her for an interview last week and was so pleased when she accepted! The 10 question and answers are below.  I hope you enjoy it and visit her blog.  My words are italicized:

Q1: Hi Michelle, thanks for letting me interview you I think your blog is great. How did you come up with the niche and/or idea of a love blog?
I didn’t really have a plan when I bought the domain name. I was plugging in random website names to see what was available and “it might be love” was a phrase that entered my mind for some reason. The more I thought about it the more I liked it - because what is love anyway? Does anyone really know? Love can be so many things for so many different people. Everything else sort of just took off from there.

Q2: Do you hold any degrees or special training to talk about love online? If not, what is it about you that makes your contribution special?
I am glad you asked this question because I would not want anyone to ever think I’m an expert when I’m not. I don’t have any formal training or degrees in psychology, which suits me just fine. I have adopted the “Good Will Hunting” philosophy of learning, meaning you can learn anything you want to know for “”a buck fifty in late fees from the library”.

I think that is what makes It Might Be Love so unique…I’m just a “real person”…sharing what I’ve experienced and learned along the way. There is no one-size-fits-all textbook definition of love. While I genuinely respect the “experts” I think you can only understand love through your experiences. I believe we are all capable of learning more about love and teaching what we learn to others.

Q3: Do you draw from your personal experiences a lot or others?
I would say 90% of the things I write about are from my own personal experiences. The other 10% comes from various people I’ve met and the situations they’ve been in or the things they have taught me. I hopefully have a lot more in life to experience and learn, so I don’t think I’ll ever run out of things to talk about!

Q4: Would you say love takes work or are you one who sees “the one” scenario as the secret to bliss 24/7?
I think you need to be able to find “the one” you can work with. We get caught up in the idea of meeting “the one” so we are often fooled by things like romance or compatibility. I know I thought I met “the one” long before I actually met “the real one”. Staying together in my opinion is all about how well you work together, problem solve, communicate, and how much trust and respect you have for each other.

Q5: How old is the blog and how is it going in your opinion? Why do you say that?
I’ve had the site for almost 2 years - but the site you see today has only been the way it is since this March after I accidentally deleted everything that was on there before! I decided to start over completely from scratch and switched over to Wordpress. I think it’s better now than ever – and now I have an automatic back-up system for my database in place! Traffic is steadily increasing each week and I’ve received nothing but positive feedback. I’m hoping to launch a couple of contests and freebie promotions in the upcoming months so I’m excited about that as well!

Q6: That’s awesome, we will be watching for those for sure and I hope you don’t mind if i promote them on Postcards from the Funny Farm, I think your blog is GREAT! Okay, now for a personal question: What is your current relationship status and how did the two of you meet?

I am married to quite possibly the funniest guy in the world. When we got married he had me laughing so hard they actually said to me “Honey, you know this is serious, don’t you?”

I initially met my husband because he needed a Sharpie marker at the place we both worked. Nobody seemed to have one until he finally came across me. I was very skeptical about letting him borrow my marker, but he brought it back to me as promised, which really impressed me! We soon became friends and before long it only seemed natural for us to start dating.

Q7: Since it is somewhat of a how-to blog, can you tell us the secrets of a great love relationship?
A few weeks ago I wrote an article for Associated Content called the 5 C’s of a Happy Relationships wherein I wrote that happy relationships need these 5 things: Communication, Caring, Consideration, Courage, and Creativity. While I wouldn’t call that the “secret” I do think if you can learn to understand and apply those principles in your current or next relationship it’s a very good place to start towards having a happy and healthy relationship.

Q8: What is your biggest love about blogging?
The thing I like most about blogging is that I can write to my heart’s content and share what I wrote with the rest of the world if they want to read it. We always think we’re too insignificant to make a difference in anyone’s life. But if just one person finds something I write to be inspiring or enjoyable than I consider it “mission accomplished.”

Q9: What is your biggest pet peeve of blogging?
It used to be spam but since I activated Askimet I haven’t had too many problems with that lately. So I guess now it would have to be the technical side of the blog - writing html and php and getting pictures to display correctly. There have been times it takes me 4 or 5 tries to get something to look the way I want it to!

Q10: If you could give us “lovers” out there one piece of advice, apart from subscribing to your RSS and reading your blog every day, of something we can do to make our love relationship better, what would it be?
Well I definitely like the subscribe idea! One thing I think most people could do rather easily is to start giving your partner just one little thing every day. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. It can be a hug, a joke, a half an hour of your uninterrupted attention, an offer to wash the dishes, a phone call just to say “Hi”. It doesn’t matter what you give them, just the fact that you gave them anything. I honestly believe the more you give to your relationship, the more you will get back out of it.

Thank you so much for the interview Damien! I really enjoyed answering your questions!

You are very welcome Michelle, I enjoyed asking them :) If you, my readers, are interested in reading Michelle’s blog, I highly encourage you! Here is the url: itmightbelove.com/