Postcards from the Funny Farm

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1. Ask the waitress to make your Kun Pao extra spicy for a real treat.
2. Cults exist with normal everyday people in them.
3. If it’s not the time for you to have a girlfriend, don’t take the matter into your own hands.
4. Not all girls like it when guys cry.
5. We are all totally alone in so many ways.
6. Celebrities are pulled from nowhere other than our ordinary neighbors.
7. Getting a degree is a bitch.
8. Getting a degree is worth something that you only know after you get it.
9. getting a degree is not necessary for success but it can’t hurt you.
10. The structure of modern English ENG 303 was worth taking twice ;)

They say about 30-100 different animals species, including insects, birds, mammals, and amphibians become extinct every single day in the rainforest!

I don’t know about the rainforest animals but I can tell you a lot of cultural items that have died out in my lifetime. Here are 10 items. Are you less ordinary? Do you miss this stuff?

1. The Hummer (I heard on the radio that they closed all production and fired a lot of people)
2. The LP (Record)
3. Stubbies beach shorts
4. Macrame (imagine that on etsy)
5. Cassette Albums
6. Betamax
7. Headbands (sweat ones anyway like Olivia Newton John wore in the video for Physical)
8. Jellies (womens sandals made of clear plastic)
9. Pop tops on cans of soda and beer
10. Mopeds (I am so angry they no longer have these!)

As the buzz words from yesterday fade, we get new ones like the crippling disease mesothelioma or the compelling medium called “blogging.” Some of those listed above you have to be a certain minimum age to remember! These 10 are just off the top of my head … Please help me bring back some memories for my readers and make this list longer!

Here’s a list of quotes I’ve collected for my rotator. Enjoy.

Update: I wrote the post below 8 months ago. Since then, Randy has been on Oprah and the cover of every magazine imaginable. You can read how he is doing on his journey here. This guy is an incredible example of a possibility thinker. I try to emulate him. As you read his story, I think you will see why.

This morning on the way to work I heard Bill Handel on 640 KFI am radio talking about The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch that took place at Carnegie Mellon University. It has become a trendy thing now for universities to have these lecture series with famous professors who “pretend” this is their last lecture, including all the wisdom they can muster. Usually these lectures draw in people from all over and they charge quite a bit for attendance.

At Carnegie Mellon a few days ago there was a “last lecture” that got the biggest turnout yet, probably because the 40-something lecturer Randy Pausch has invented an incredible software well known in the industry that teaches kids programming through 3D cartoon images. Unfortunately he won’t be able to see just how well it does because he has been given only 6 months to live with liver cancer. He amazingly still cracks joke better than a standup at the Improv.

As I listened to him lecture in a humorous “fun” way, I wiped back tears. This man, not much older than me and also with a family, is facing the biggest brick wall and limitaton to possibility thinking one can imagine, and yet he is still giving wisdom, joy, and wit to those of us who will remain. If anyone had an excuse to curl up and become a toxic person, it is this man. Still, he CHOOSES to live with an open mind toward the possibilities left in his life. Despite the storm, he is squinting to see the rainbow and I truly applaud him as a hero for that. At the KFI website this morning I was lucky to find a link to his “last lecture” (literally in his case). If you are interested in RAW words of inspiration from an in incredible guy you can watch this wmv video of the speech and hear this AMAZING thinker speak at length about possibility thinking. If you have the time, it is worth it. I am dedicating this post of the series to Randy Pausch and his family.

Video of the Speech:

Visit Randy Pausch’s Website: cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/

(The story that follows is 100% fictional - or is it? hmmmmmm mwhah hahaha) See if you can guess the identity of this here feller! I’ll give you a few more clues then ask you again.

My friend Eric and I were rummaging around a new movie set, don’t ask me how we got there, my friend has connections! Anyway, as I was looking under some cool artifact looking stuff and an old 1940’s radio system, you will never believe what I found! The actor’s wallet! Eric and I were speechless! We briefly talked about how it would be foolish to try and return it. I mean, he probably has insurance like lifelock on all his cards or something. Even if he didn’t he’d never miss a little “spree” cash by us lowly joes :) So we did it! This wasn’t too difficult considering that:

1. I have that same sort of rugged handsomeness about me -and-
2. We were standing right next to his wardrobe with no one around.

When we hit Holloywood Blvd, you’d never have believed the attention we got. My handsome face in the character’s clothes rags was a sure-fire way to cause a riot, and we did. When we were done we’d been in and out of 50 stores with a long list of things we’d bought. Below are a few on the list:

1. 5 printers
2. 20 pairs of Skechers
3. 3 $1,000 dresses for my wife.
4. A Thumping sound system for my Jeep
5. 50 electric guitars
6. 10 amps
7. 2 Bass guitars
8. Lotions, oh so many wonderful lotions … and cremes!
9. Hats baby!

Okay dear reader, now I challenge you to tell me: Who is it I was impersonating? I will try and give the correct guesser a monetary reward but be advised I see my wanted poster up everywhere I go these days.

This story has been a joke of course, but Identity theft is no laughing matter. Try lifelock to protect yourself from it completely.

Begin blogging experiment-departure time from Victorville: 10:02

Sarah is driving the minivan so I thought I’d try an experiment. I’m using Windows Live Writer which is great when you’re offline and get the itch. Radio says: “Thunder only happens when it’s rainin’; players only love you when they’re playin’” Probably a deep thought to a woman, not to me so much. Any women out there have a shout out for that lyric?

Traveling is broadening. For some, it means going across the globe and getting sick on the foreign food. After awhile adjusting to the culture shock and eventually when you love it … time to go back! That’s what it was like for me when I studied Spanish the summer of 1996 in Guadalajara, Mexico.

But today I’m only traveling 74 miles, accoring to MapQuest. Victorville to Murrieta, we’re going to see my parents. We hit the drive-thru at Farmer Boys on our way to the freeway. I got a coffee and french fries. So here I am, halfway through my fries and coffee watching ominous clouds waiting for something amazing to share with you … what sucks is that I am in awe of the view of these mountains around me, gigantic powerline towers, and the open road ahead, it is amazing indeed. I don’t have the words to record it. We’d do well to remember that as some of us spend 24/7 writing and reading … there are many sensual human experiences that can never be captured. Make sure you get a hold of those as much as you can, it will improve your psyche and in turn your writing. For me, the hard part is getting away from it all and leaving my schedule open to have those spontaneous experiences. I should go back and insert into every post I’ve written on how to blog the following: “Before writing, get away and get unplugged.”

Topics for blogging are all around us all the time. How many of you had that teacher in school that would give you dreaded assignments like: “Write about life on the head of this pencil” (or other odd single subject prompt). When I taught college writing I used to do pretty weird writing prompts. But if you finished those assignments, you should be thanking that teacher: blogging is 100% just that. You have to be open to finding your own prompts all around you and then use discipline to create something that is truly inspirational. Have you read an inspirational blog post lately? I can tell you when I come across one, I want to travel through the interweb wires and give that blogger a kiss. I’ll leave that at that concerning the lack of inspirational posts in the blogosphere. You know what’s a really good movie? Little Miss Sunshine with Alan Arkin, Greg Kinnear, and Steve Carell. It’s the kind of movie you should see with a psychology major … totally mental. You’ve got this teenage death rockertype that hates his family and it really gets you thinking about that time of adolescence. Didn’t we all on some level hate our family? Anyway you see him come to appreciate family in the movie and it is very touching. It’s an oddball flick for sure, kind of in the same vein as Juno (also a great flick). Okay, so we are almost there and at least if this post is the most boring you’ve read from me yet, at least you have two movie recommendations ;)

end of blogging experiment: arrived in Murrieta 11:12am

Oh my! This one hurts. I have to give credit where credit’s due at the Blogster’s Guild where I saw this one. It’s such a gem I had to embed it directly on my site. Imagine a piano on your chest … rrrrrr.

The scenario: My brown-bag lunch was as meager as you can think of, p and j and goldfish crackers. One hour after lunch I am teaching and as Winnie the Pooh says: “Tummy Rumbling.” Called wife dreaming of a burger and 40 minutes later here she is in my work parking lot with: 1) 1 large coke, 1 Carl’s Jr. Famous Star hamburger, 1 med. fry. I am speechless to relate how high on a pedestal she is right now.

Just before bed, my oldest daughter (3) gets a little antsy. She can sense it’s time to go to bed and she’s not having it, yet at the same time … she’s tired, you can always tell by the stuff she says and does.

I have been making myself a drink (non alcoholic) when I get home from work because lately I have been really thirsty. I try to mimic my favorite premium beverage SOBE Elixr Power Fruit Punch, but instead of the high priced stuff at home, I bought a big jug of fruit punch syrup and hypnotize myself. I fill a large tumbler with ice, pour a bit of syrup in, fill it with water and then make than clanging stir sound. MMMM just typing it makes me want one now. My daughter calls it “a red.”

The other night my wife and I told our darling daughter it was bedtime and she proceeded to whine and whimper. She jumped protectively into my Papasan chair (I tend to give her what she wants regrettably) with me and said in what was a 1/2 cry, 1/2 trying to hold it together voice … “I want to … have a red with dad.” Cuteness at a Kilimanjaro height.

We both couldn’t help but laugh and let her have a “red” before bed. Our nights between 8:30 and 11pm on any given date are filled with stories such as these. I’ll try and post as many as I can. Seems like these stages go by so fast.

What cute things have your kids said?