Postcards from the Funny Farm

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I have a job where I am constantly second guessing things I can say and examples I can give as to their apporpriateness.  I teach 9 year olds.  Through the years I have learned that humor can open up closed minds to learning so I have many “rated G” stories I apply to lessons when appropriate.  Sometimes, however, I find out things I thought were appropriate were not taken as such by parents.  When you start your year as a teacher and with a new class, you are not just speaking to 30 kids you are speaking to their parents and anyone else you can imagine in their world as well.  Some parents might have quite lower moral compasses than you and others much higher.  Hence the healthy fear thing :)

A classic example is when 2 years ago I showed a scene from “Nacho Libre” as part of a science lesson on muscles.  In my house, we all love Nacho Libre.  Jack Black is one of my favorite actors since he did “High Fidelity” with John Cusack and his recent more kid-friendly movies are all on our shelf.  Nonetheless, when the 24 year old mother met me at my classroom door and ordered me very vehemently to not show that anymore in class, I was taken aback.  It’s amazing how we have the actors and musicians of the world pulling in millions per video and/or CD telling our culture what’s funny and then we have teachers barely making it on 30-80K a year and we have to sort through it all to determine what’s appropriate for class.  Balanced?

A footnote to that story is that the child came up to me a year later and shared with me that her parents finally rented the DVD and now the family loves it.

As a teacher you have to be constantly aware of what “might” offend.  That might be a good trait for my writing/blogging job as well.  But then again, they say controversy sells print.

When I first started teaching in Santa Ana, California at a little inner city school called Diamond Elementary, I first got a sting on this issue.  As some of you know, my best friend Eric Stefani, not only started a famous band called “No Doubt” in the late 80’s, but also spent many years on the payroll as an animator for the Simpsons, Ren and Stimpy, and other excellent animated series through the 90’s and 2000’s.  I wanted my kids to see the enthusiasm in his career, since they had little in their lives.  I asked him to come in and speak to them about being an animator.  He came in and did a great job for someone not accustomed to speaking to kids.  It was all good until the end when he showed an uncensored video of a Simpsons episode.  He was explaining how not everything makes it to TV.  It wasn’t much, just a guy getting his cartoon head lopped off with an axe.  The Principal was concerned and let me know.

Since I shared that with my friend he’s been much more reticent to speak to my kids.  For example, my summer school kids want him to speak to them and he might be hesitant if I asked him.  In fact, I probably won’t out of respect for him.

I can’t complain about the fear of offending since I chose my profession as a grownup (27 in 1997 now 39 in 2008).  But I do wish sometimes people didn’t worry so much about shielding kids from the world they are only a few years from.  As a teacher, my goal is to not just impart knowledge but ignite in them a zest for the world they live in. 

When people judge teachers for what they present, they should take intent strongly into consideraton.  Have you ever offended someone without realizing it?

Driving home from the ball game tonight my wife and I nearly hit a 10 year old kid on his bike. He decided he would play chicken with our multi-ton minivan. Needless to say we honked. What the hell is happening with the youth of today? I know they have been saying that forever but Sarah and I see it up close and personal every day we teach. A place it is getting particularly scary is in middle and high school. But back to my story … I flipped the car around much to my wife’s dismay since the babies were both crabby and crying since we left the game. I chased the kid into a culdesac and gave him my 2 cents worth on his little game. He said sorry and his middle school aged friends did their “chill out dude” thing (oh how I hear that in my sleep). I told him I was a teacher and if one of my students did that not only would I tell their parents but I would tell the police. I am sure they all had a good laugh at the bald guy who pulled over to blabber something. Nonetheless, that kid could die that way. I have reached down to get something and nearly hit the curb before, what if that was a kid? I was pretty upset about it.

My point of this short diary entry is not to disparage youth. It is the most beautiful time of our humanity in many ways. But we all need to be making u-turns and saying hello to the death rockers we pass in the mall et al. I just wanted to put that out to the blogosphere. What do you think about being the hope our youth needs?

Our parents occupy a space in our psyches that determines so many of our thought patterns. It starts when we are very young babies and continues on until even after they pass away and we ourselves become the unique parents and grandparents. If we are fortunate, our parents are people we can and should trust as children and into adulthood. For me, and many I hope, our parents give us unconditional love that enables us to do the great things we dream of. You see that kind of love in church and on religious jewelry, but rarely do we run across it in life.

When we are kids, mom and dad’s discipline is usually dreaded. It makes us angry. They tell us to not run across wet tile and to make sure we wear a coat outside when it’s cold. We of course resent these demands as children and automatically assume our parents are ordering out out of spite, envy, or just plain meanness. The craziest thing is that when we slip on the floor after disobeying or when we catch a nasty could and cough for not heeding our parents’ commands, we still resent them. It flies in the face of reason but I see it often in my own son and I remember the same pattern happening when I was young. Now, at age 39, I find myself hungering for advice from my parents. They give it when I ask but it is not the same. It’s like an unwritten rule that when you do become an adult, you have to find your own way. DOH! Reality bites sometimes.

As I close up this series, I am very proud of the idea. It moved my mind in places I hardly ever examine. To me, the ever elusive definition of a blog is encapsulated in a series like this: it helps me to write, maybe it will help someone out there to read. Have I mentioned I’m taken in with the blog phenomena? Maybe I didn’t have to. If you don’t have one yet, you really should start. I explain how to start a Wordpress blog in a recen.... But onto the need to relax …

Whereas the human animal reacts … the evolved human analyzes and second guesses. This is the only thing that separates us. I heard a story this week of a sub who couldn’t control her mouth. What a shame. Apparently the “F” word was uttered and some students when to the office to report it. Now, I am not saying kids are always angels, but they should be protected from people yelling profanity at them. Teaching is a profession, not a social program. If someone is not willing to put in the creative effort to manage kids, then they shouldn’t be doing it. We should all, whether teaching or not, be inspiring to the kids in our sphere.  I fully expect this teacher to experience bad results as the effects of her actions. It’s too bad in a way because subs have it pretty hard. At the same time, this teacher was a grownup and she could have chosen to calm down and not yell the expletive.

Being calm and relaxing at will is not a optional skill for life. If you can’t be calm, you will one day face the consequences for it. Whether it is through losing your job or worse yet, physical and even terminal disease. It is proven that our temperament affects our bodies and so it follows that we must always strive to have a positive temperament. The alternative? Unemployment … divorce … sickness R.... Are all these worth purging your temper?

I feel glad that this series will always be here for me to go back to, and maybe for you when you find yourself unable to relax. If you treat your nerves and temperament with the same attention you would give your own child that you love, you will find you are much better equipped to enhance the world around you. If the minor tips in the series are not enough or if you just want more, I’d encourage you to seek out more knowledge. If you are a human, it will do you much good.

On that note: credit card debt relief can help you relax. Try it out!

Post image source: Wikipedia, PD

A police friend I know has been shot at, threatened and scared half to death by some of the criminals he’s dealt with. Another fireman friend of mine from years back has almost destroyed his back pulling people out of burning buildings. As for me, I deal with something every day more ominous than most can imagine: surly kids. In my career I’ve had issues with kids that that few non-teachers will ever comprehend the difficulty of. I’ve had kids flat out tell me “no” to my face. I’ve had kids shout profanity at me. I’ve had kids tell me they are sending their dad, uncle or brother to beat me up. I’ve had days where all I wanted to do was go home to my room and close the vinyl shutters. I am telling you, in the schools and classrooms I have been in, I’ve seen it all.

But, along with the bad there is plenty of good I must add. In addition to the minority of students who have tested my desire to remain a teacher, many more have made me so glad and proud to do what I do. So, enough of of the “pity party” on my part, let’s talk about how to deal with these troublesome kids, because teachers are always going to have them and kids will always weave into every person’s life.

There are so many plans at your disposal as a teacher to control behavior in the class. You can have a warning/consequences chart, you can do positive reinforcements, you can even take entire blocks of time to model your rules and consequences. In my opinion, nothing works better than a certain type of psychology on kids who won’t behave. It is called “Choice, and Consequence” teaching. Let me explain:

When a kid misbehaves it is either because 1) They don’t realize it and are just being “slap-happy.” -or- 2) They know it’s wrong and they do it hoping they won’t be seen or caught. In order to avoid punishing a kid for just being slap-happy, you should only punish if the child disobeys or is defiant, give them a warning. Make sure you state clearly the rule they have broken. ie;

Johnny, you kicked someone’es leg and they complained to me. You did not respect your classmate and that is rule 3 on our list on the wall. If you do it again, you will lose your recess.

Now the child knows what is wrong to do. If he continues, it is defiance. Well, as I have been telling you, I’m familiar with these kids who still do it. At that point, when they do it again, here is the only thing you can and should say:

Johnny, what you have done gives me only 2 options: Write a referral for which you will be suspended for physically kicking another student. -or- make a phone call to your parents in front of everyone asking them to help me teach you this is wrong.

Now you don’t have to use those 2 choices, but that is where teaching creativity comes in. the key is getting them to see the consequences are as a result of their actions not yours and then continue giving them choices until the issue is out of your hands with the office or with their parents.

You can keep up with my ongoing notes on teaching and life in the classroom at my teaching “edublog”: entitled: Dynamite Lesson Plan

What do you think of the choice/consequence method?