Postcards from the Funny Farm

Imagine all your credit cards and your ATM card being run past the limit! In our house, we try so hard to make use that never happens but if a thief took my wallet before I could get to a phone, that would be the reality. I can tell you that stress like this could end you up in the funny farm. So many things in life we say will never happen to us, but it is possible they can. Listen to what Consumer Affairs has said:

For the seventh year in a row, identity theft tops the Federal Trade Commission’s complaint list, accounting for 36 percent of the 674,354 complaints received between January 1 and December 31, 2006.

I’ve written about life lock before on because ID theft has happened to friends and people in my family. Life lock provides a service that can prevent any harm that occurs when ones ID is stolen. It’s easy to sign up and their protection is guaranteed. You need to know that it isn’t just credit cards, hackers now can get the information to ruin you. Do yourself a favor, spend a little money (it is very cheap if you check the website) Get Life lock.

(The story that follows is 100% fictional - or is it? hmmmmmm mwhah hahaha) See if you can guess the identity of this here feller! I’ll give you a few more clues then ask you again.

My friend Eric and I were rummaging around a new movie set, don’t ask me how we got there, my friend has connections! Anyway, as I was looking under some cool artifact looking stuff and an old 1940’s radio system, you will never believe what I found! The actor’s wallet! Eric and I were speechless! We briefly talked about how it would be foolish to try and return it. I mean, he probably has insurance like lifelock on all his cards or something. Even if he didn’t he’d never miss a little “spree” cash by us lowly joes :) So we did it! This wasn’t too difficult considering that:

1. I have that same sort of rugged handsomeness about me -and-
2. We were standing right next to his wardrobe with no one around.

When we hit Holloywood Blvd, you’d never have believed the attention we got. My handsome face in the character’s clothes rags was a sure-fire way to cause a riot, and we did. When we were done we’d been in and out of 50 stores with a long list of things we’d bought. Below are a few on the list:

1. 5 printers
2. 20 pairs of Skechers
3. 3 $1,000 dresses for my wife.
4. A Thumping sound system for my Jeep
5. 50 electric guitars
6. 10 amps
7. 2 Bass guitars
8. Lotions, oh so many wonderful lotions … and cremes!
9. Hats baby!

Okay dear reader, now I challenge you to tell me: Who is it I was impersonating? I will try and give the correct guesser a monetary reward but be advised I see my wanted poster up everywhere I go these days.

This story has been a joke of course, but Identity theft is no laughing matter. Try lifelock to protect yourself from it completely.