Postcards from the Funny Farm

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There are many physical deterrents to a healthy psychology. Acne for many people is a big one. I ran across a website that is an excellent resource if you suffer from the medical and psychological effects of acne. I recommend this website because it is made up of an ever growing library of information about acne treatment.

If you suffer from acne, you may know the hard truth that it is not curable. However, there is a plethora of pages and links here that can get your acne manageable and completely under control. I like the vision on one page of the importance of a man with acne being able to shave (as an example of management). It is also very important for a woman to get her acne under control so she can feel attractive. If you surfed in here it is probably because you are looking for acne products and/or acne solutions. The theme of this blog is mental health and inspiration so I am extra pleased to be able to offer you this resource to help both!

If you are suffering from the symptoms of acne, check out this very helpful and credible website. It is a lighthouse to guide people through their acne problem.

“What a trip” Las Vegas can be.
My 10 year old son Brandon and I are seen here sharing a couple cool ones (cokes that is) at “The World of Coke” museum in Las Vegas right in the heart of the strip. This is just one place we went on our vacation last week that were “family friendly” places. Las Vegas is a great place for adults: you can drink for free, gamble your nest egg (should you choose!), see great shows, dance, etc. But Las Vegas also offers plenty for kids as well. Our goal was to get into a mental place I call “vacation psychology.” I hope my kids made it there. From the looks of things, they did. I also had at least one event that got me in that zone. SCORE!

This Las Vegas slogan of recent years is kind of funny: “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” What do you think that means? I have my ideas. At first it sounds sardonic, mischievous, but I try to keep an open mind and accept everything until proven wrong.

There is a psychology in vacationing that is a “wow” so-to-speak. It takes you away from the daily grind and see something truly marvelous. Now does that have to be secretive? Not in my case. We went to a children’s museum that was ok, buffets that were tasty, and walked the strip to pick up tasty snacks here and there and all that was great. My kids did the “Build-a-Bear Workshop” and we ended up spending a hundred bucks on that. I know that sounds steep, but you should have seen their faces. All people, small or large, need to take care of their brain through vacation psychology.

Vacation psychology for me happened during a Cirque de Soleil type show. The announcer said that a recent “Miss Wyoming” was about to do an interpretation of that new song “Too Late to Apologize,” which I kind of liked already. She came out and did a ballet type routine suspended from two large red ribbons. It was the most amazing set of “human tricks” I have seen in a long long time. The song was moving and the amazing dexterity of this young acrobat was truly inspirational. Whether vacation psychology is better when it’s secretive, I will never know. In my case, I am glad that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas. Sometimes it makes it to a blog and other people get to experience it too. (The YouTube video of “Too Late to Apologize” is linked at my online diary.)

Did you ever see a superhero movie where the hero finds the villain’s lair only to hear upon entry:

Welcome. We’ve been expecting you.

Then there is a ghoulish laugh like “bwah ha ha ha ha” or something like that? That scene is pretty common in superhero shows. It’s possible audiences relate with it so well because we all have metaphorical villains that we fear. When our fear materializes it seems composed and set on destroying us. In those scenarios, fear has control, we do not. Wouldn’t it be great if when our fear shows itself we could say to it:

And I have been expecting you!

Preparation to meet our “villain” is the key to good mental health. Sorry if the picture is too scary, but I thought it accentuated my point well. The villain is not for kids.

If you go back and read my post on the REBT psychology method you will see that our belief about adversity is what determines our action and consequence. Wrong beliefs about things defeat us. At the present time, these posts of inspiration and good mental health are my favorite to write.  If your greatest fear is to lose your job, which is probably mine in all honesty even though I have a pretty secure job, then ask yourself why does that scare you so much. Is your worth 100% in your job? I know mine isn’t. As you begin analyzing that fear and asking “Why?” you can become prepared for the fear when it comes up. Classic example of REBT: Your boss calls you into his office. Do you panic? This is your villain manifesting itself. There is no need to panic if you meet him prepared. Your greatest fear is probably not even going to happen and imagine how much trouble you’ll save yourself by not being so concerned. You can beat that villain and another and another until ideally fear no longer has a hold over you (I am not there quite yet). It’s a great thing when defeat a villain, despite his size.

REBT is my latest excitement to blog about, thought it is certainly nothing new. As I close, let me draw your attention to another psychological marvel that shows us really all our collective villains I guestblogged about in a simple list:

The 10 Cognitive Distortions. These are the biggies to watch out for.  Remember this ‘aint no movie, this is your one shot at a life.

Now, go get yourself prepared to meet the villain.

Summers can be for resting, especially if you are a teacher. They can also be times to test yourself and learn lessons that benefit you all Winter long. Going along with the teacher thought, I want to raise the idea of “training.” In all businesses there is an element of training. This training is usually meant to stretch the worker to a place where she/he will be more productive.

Along the way to increased productivity unfortunately we meet Mr. discomfort and sometimes … Mr. pain. Do you know him?

Training is about opening your mind. Many of us have minds that are so closed they must be pried open. That has been my mind this summer. I’ve been teaching 8th graders that cuss and insult adults and consider themselves adults on top of it all. I realize now, with only 2 days remaining in the session, that this has been training. Like ankle weights for when I return to my 4th grade class. I don’t like to dwell too much on my own occupation in these posts. It is meant to be a parallel to your job, your “training.”

As you probably know from reading my blog, I am always analyzing and seeking new cognitive strategies to battle life’s troubles. Sometimes I even see it as a sport. I am a student of psychology and a fan of all human things that inspire.

But sometimes you have to just live it.

I have 900+ posts and counting here. Each post has some sort of cognitive mechanism conveyed. In a simpler word: ADVICE FOR YOU. And, maybe myself? Well, this post is here to stop the advice. I hope you can transfer that to your life whether you are a Type A personality or not, you give yourself advice I know. It is occasionally time to stop training and just live your stuff out. The yellow pad is a great tool but you can’t walk through life with it at your side. You are creative, you are responsible. Why not lay down the cognitive stuff and simply trust yourself for a while. I think you will be proud of yourself in a while when you stop and look back on what you’ve lived. You will also find your mind was more open because you let go. To close, remember this: you can shop for treadmills all day, but until you get on one, you aren’t exercising.

This post will introduce a series of posts I’m writing on looking at life a little bit differently, namely the practice of having an open mind.

I’ve been writing about psychology and inspiration here since December of 2006 and in the process I’ve done a lot of homework I love to share. Mark Twain once said: “When I turned 20, I was amazed at all my father had learned in ten years.” Our perception of the world is filtered through our point of view. If we have an open mind as we travel through life, we transcend much of the trouble around us. One invaluable tool in keeping an open mind is to have a mantra.  When I wanted to go on a vacation recently, I started reciting a vaction-related mantra.  What began as a “what-if” scenario opened up to a possibility heyday.  It began when I took a step and called the travel agency.  The one I chose has amazing packages.

Most of the travel deals offer all sorts of information, from car rental to the cheap hotels at the station. The airline information is updated as well, including the options of flights. If cruises are a part of the deal, they are thoroughly covered too.

Now you tell me mantras don’t work!

Remember when you were younger, about junior high age? You could run around all day: boys at the football field, girls at the mall or maybe the softball field. (Of course I don’t mean to sound like all women wanted to be at the mall but many I knew did). At any rate, physical activity back then had very few consequences. I would run 5-10 miles on the x-country team and have no soreness whatsoever the next day. Well, now fast forward to today. I can barely run to the end of my street without needing to stop and gather myself. Part of that is my fault for not exercising enough. Another part of it is just plain aging. Even as a youngster; however, practice had its place. Running those hill workouts paid off when I won the races. Our minds need practice too. A mantra can be part of that life-changing practice.

The big picture of this series is the way we feel about the world. Our mind processes things differently as it is accustomed to do. The good news is that as long as we practice the right mental things, we never need to suffer the way we do in our physical aging. In fact, if we stay mentally “worked out,” we can be more enlightened the older we get. Kind of cool eh? So, just to clarify the big picture here:

Physical Practice = Winning races/competitions

Mental Practice = Seeing the world the way it is.

One mental exercise we should engage in is the practice of having an open mind. Just like running one mile and skipping the rest of the week will not make a young runner any stronger, so we are made “mentally flabby” when we neglect this practice. The time this verb “practice” is most vivid to me is when I get angry or when I get disappointed or otherwise discouraged. It’s in those moments I can hear that inner psychologist on the couch in my mind say: “Calm down, this is what practice is all about.”

When and how to use a mantra to keep your mind open:

1. When we are out of sorts it comes from 1 of 2 sources: a) Internal - we have a chemical imbalance happening and need food or medicine to balance it out -or- b) External stimulus has disagreed with us in some way. The first step therefore is to determine which source is bringing you down. For example: Would a glass of water help? Some peanuts? You make the call there. This step is kind of like a stop and regroup.
2. The second step is to ACT to accept the cause of the problem. It could be your blood sugar or a person in your face. Either way: ACCEPT the cause for what it is.
3. The third step is a mantra. A mantra isn’t a middle eastern mystery, it’s just a phrase that has good energy for you. Remember the little engine that could? His mantra was: “I think I can, I think I can.” You can use many mantras that already exist or make up your own. I really like the mantra: “Is that so?” Eckhart uses it and recommends it in his book. I recommend it as well.

Other things you could say are (for example): “That’s one way to look at it,” “This too shall pass,” etc. I know you are creative because you’ve read this far. I encourage you to pick a mantra, write it on a card and when you lose your peace in the day, read the card, say the card, BE the card. I think you will as I have that the mental and spiritual rewards are mammoth.

When you exit a room of dissent and feel like you’ve made a contribution of peace, it’s one of the most powerful victories you can imagine.

I met a really visionary blogger this past year named David Masters and he writes a blog called “Be Playful.” I’ve guest blogged there in the past and he just published one of mine there today on “Playing Through Difficult Times.” I know some people going through tough times and others in their bliss out looking for birthday invitations. It just depends what cards you’ve been dealt. Maybe your play will earn you the money to go on a dream vacation?  You can even be playful as your picking and purchasing the tickets, according to David’s philosophy.  I was today and here’s a few things I learned about fares and places:

The flights to rome have been getting more expensive. There are no other cheap flights on the route, except for the flights to boston that take a fun touch down. The orlando flights too are a tad bit bigger.

this search could be a tedious task to the average person but even flight searching can be a blast.  David has shared there in the intro that he himself has been going through another not-so-fun task of moving. Maybe you are going through a difficult time right now. Maybe you know someone who’s lost their job or is just plain down. It may seem like the end of the world but remember that all experience is life experience. When you stop feeling pain you’re dead. I love the quote Woody Guthrie said: “Take life easy or take it hard but TAKE IT.” You can read all my favorite quotes here. My guest post at Be Playful is here.

Like Woody Guthrie says: “Take it easy or take it hard but TAKE IT!”

This post is inspired by and dedicated to my cousin. A rider of coasters of parks and imagination.

I enjoy roller coasters. Tonight I’m writing about them. At the pizza place tonight, my 3 year old daughter, Isabella, wanted to ride a small contraption for 4 tokens that called itself a roller coaster. It was a moving seat in front of a video tape of a real coaster. As I looked over it to make my decision as a dad whether it was an appropriate ride for her age and size, I found myself recalling some of the clinkety clankety roller coasters I’ve loved throughout the years. I let her ride it and I think I loved it more than she did and I wasn’t even in the rumbly seat. Rides create happiness. Because I write here about inspiration, psychology, and offbeat blogging, I thought this quite appropriate.

Roller coasters have woven in and out of my childhood, career, parenthood, and of course I’m sure those with better halves will agree: my marriage. They give you adrenaline, fear, exhilaration, and even exhaustion. We wait in lines for hours sometimes to get our chance to ride and when we’re done were told abruptly to get off. There is a psychology to wanting to ride and a psychology to wanting to stay off. Either way, the roller coaster is there … whether we rant loud or soft, we all get on and we all get off.

When we get inspired to do things, it’s like we’re on a ride. It’s so wonderful and our bodies feel light and invigorated, we laugh until we’re hoarse. But if we’re not careful, the highs of roller coaster inspiration can cause a fall. At the end of the fall, we may find depression or worse than that: no more inspiration. Though our lives are roller coasters, we need to remember this adage: It’s not how fast the roller coaster goes but how straight you walk out the exit. Drugs, for example, can cause you to stumble … and fall. Also, they can destroy brain cells and you can buy more like you would buy computer memory

I would never tell another human to not go on a ride, but I would tell them to stay cool when their riding high because the ground comes inevitably and the high can make you or break you when you’re talking about life’s coaster. People are great, in all their walks. This is no dress rehearsal, we are all on this coaster together.

We’d do well to use the loop-de-loops of life to store up energy. We will need it before we know it.

I’ve been in a situation recently where my physical body/animal brain was moving me to retaliate against someone who offended me (actually a couple people) and at the same time my intellect was telling me to relent, or hold off until I’d calmed down. I won’t get into specifics because that’s not my point here. I’ll tell you I did relent and I am so glad.

Once I calmed down and reassessed the situation, I realized that while my feelings were 100% valid, they were not a good determiner of action. In fact, if my feelings had determined my actions in the professional environment, in this case I could have severed (possibly permanently) networks with key people likely to be in my circle until I retire. When the hot cools down from work days like that, you have some amazing realizations reclining at home or jumping on your trampoline. You have no idea what they will be in the heat of the moment.

So what did I learn from this and why am I sharing? Well, as I have said over and over, I write about psychology and inspiration here in order to better your life. It isn’t therapy for me. If it were you’d read a lot of bad words etc. I am thinking and analyzing my life all the time for good lessons to share with you. I hope these lessons advance you in your journey. That is why I blog on psychology and inspiration. In this post, my lesson is simple: In the professional environment, let facts not feelings determine your actions.

When you feel upset, insulted, or angry, these are usually products of a bruised ego and not the real you (as Eckhart calls the “being”). Relenting when you feel badly can help you recover your sense of being and throw off your ego. So, here are the three things I did when I was offended/mistreated recently at work. Translated into your life, I hope they help you save yourself some grief and advance like I did:

1. Get the facts written down.
2. Write down a note (official in wording) to the offending party(ies) stating the wrong done to you and DONT SEND IT. Put it in your wallet folded tightly closed.
3. Forget about it and go about your day.
4. Later in the evening, pull out the letter. You may be ashamed you wrote it, but keep it for 3 days. If the issue does come up, you will be upset and you can take the note out for the facts that emotion may cause you to forget.

That’s it! As I have said (to the rhythm of something Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled,

I’m no expert on psychology but I have read more on psychology than some psychology experts :)

Now you’ve read some of that yourself, succinctly put in a blog post. At work, be a real man (or woman) and act on facts, not on feelings. Do what you have to do to stay cool. Another thing I do, and I have written on the value of a music CD, is make and listen to a CD of the best tunes I know.

Quick after thought: WATCH OUT! Something is at risk with this kind of talk, and it’s your job! You will be better off to use this approach but remember you should never forget any wrong done to you against the law or your contract. Write it down! All I am saying to do is to deal with it later.

If there is one post worthy of you slowing down to read today, it is this one. The writing contest results are in and posted here. It was a truly enjoyable time gathering the posts for this writing contest. Congratulations to the winners. To all who participated I say thank you for sharing your amazing visions with me, my readers, and the interweb.

I chose this topic for my contest because I have always been fascinated by Amazing Visionaries. They range from Walt Disney (photo: wikipedia) to Pat Rodgers (my grandfather). By watching their moves, I have been able to recreate some of that success in my own life. And I have written about it.

I heard a story many years ago about how the new tellers at banks get to spend a week handling money … nothing more. The reasoning behind this was so that the tellers could detect a fact having been made so familiar with the real. When we study the look of a successful person’s moves, we too can avoid being duped by false success stories. Just like the well known authorize.net spots fraudulent consumers, so these posts will help you spot the bad examples as well as the ones to follow.

The stories mentioned here are the “real deal.” By collecting them and putting them in one place, hopefully it will rub off on us. If you enjoyed the links, please bookmark this page, as well as the permalinks individually, and share them with others. In my opinion, now more than ever, the world needs more amazing visions! I think you will be inspired by what you read here.

Below are the 6 winning urls for “Amazing Visions: Blog Carnival Edition 2.” After that are links to all the entries. Why hold them back when inspiration is so lacking in our times! I hope you enjoy reading all of them as much as I did. Stay tuned to Postcards for Edition 3 in the near future.

TOP 3

1. How I got Started with Blogging and Freelance Writ... by Michael Kwan
2. Mother Teresa on Love by Chelle
3. How to become what you want to become, in about tw... posted at I Will Not Die.

Honorable Mentions

1. An Entry from Torri’s Travels by Torri
2. Nick’s Entry on Randy Pausch posted at Romandock
3. Amazing Vision - Mahatma Gandhi posted at Growing Happiness.

Though they didn’t get in the top three, these highly well written posts are the rest of these amazing visions . . . Please read them, you will find strength and inspiration. (Thank you again to these bloggers!) -in no particular order …

Josh Waitzkin an Inspiring Performer by Isabella Mori

A One Man Peacekeeping Force by Alexander

She’s Inspiration by Katelynjane

How Hokusai can Inspire Designers and Bloggers posted at Designer Daily

The Los Lunas Decalogue Stone - How In The World D... posted at Shattered Paradigm.

Privilege to Be with a Loved One at the Time of De... posted at Andy, saying, “My dad was one of my greatest heroes. This is my tribute to his legacy.”

(and one of my own I just threw in at the end!)

Amazing People and Things by Damien Riley

My friends in this community sometimes ask me if I know any good ways of getting traffic. I try to do creative stuff, but sometimes the traditional things work best. Using forums to build traffic is one of those traditional ways. Of course there are several in my community that are doing just fine. Perhaps those readers could give us some further tips on this discussion.

I’ve read on several “big time” sites that forums are an excellent way to attract more readers to your blog or website. Up until recently, I had never put this one to the test. This is partly due to the fact that I haven’t had the time to experiment with it. I plan to do some “foruming” this evening so I wanted to let you know the results once I am finished. As I head out to try my hand at this endeavor I am thinking these guidelines might be helpful to someone out there who wants to try it:

1. When you choose a forum, choose the topics that follow your passions. ie; mental health, literature, psychology, self-improvement and blogging are a few interests of mine that I belong to forums on.
2. Put your url in your profile and signature or every forum you post at. This is obviously to your blog’s advantage. Theoretically, the ones who like what you have to say will click on your profile or signature and find your wonderfully suited blog. Ok, so I’m being a bit sarcastic. Nonetheless, it’s one way to get your url out there and it may even garner you some Google Juice.
3. Answer many threads before you leave. Some threads are closely monitored and some are not. Doing more will increase your chances of starting up a conversation or even friendship with people on the forum.
4. Subscribe to the threads you comment in. Like most blogs, forums have an option many times to subscribe by email or rss to the threads.
5. Do not get offended and do not say offensive things. This is self-explanatory to many, but to me it is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way many many times (mostly before I ever started blogging). Stay cool and let your words be the same when foruming.
6. Bookmark the front page of each forum and put them in a folder on your toolbar (Firefox) so they don’t become obtrustive. Since the folder causes them to cascade straight down, you can have more than you’ll ever need on your bookmarked toolbar (for help on how to do this, read this).
7. Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE. That may be an old fashioned notion, but go with it and see if it’s still true.
8. Keep your comments short but thoughtful. Don’t waste your great ideas and prose on a forum, use the ideas you get while there to write on your forum and link to the post! (Don’t do this too much or you may be considered a spammer and kicked out)
9. Once you are in, many forums allow you to post a link on your profile page or in the sisgnature, or both.  An example of these types of links can be found here (scroll down to my signature at the Jeep page.  The anchor texts inspiration and psychology are linked back to my blog).  This will help your backlink authority.
10. Once you create the link on your profile page, figure out what the permalink to your profile page is and socially bookmark it to as many as possible.  This will also help your backlink authority. Example of same Jeep profile page on Stumbleupon.

I hope these tips help. If you are new to forums and would like some help getting your feet wet, drop me a line and I’ll see if I can help. On the other hand, does anyone out there have any forums they enjoy and would recommend to this community? Enjoy foruming to build traffic.