Postcards from the Funny Farm

My hope in this series is to produce a paradigm shift in people’s attitude toward bipolar.  Remember when you were a kid and your parents said you were going somewhere really special?  Depending on your age, it could have been grandmother’s house or a flight to a 3 day stay at Disneyland.  Remember feeling your mood rise instantly beyond what is normal?  Well … that is normal.  Unfortunately for bipolars, their brain can experience this transition for no apparent reason at any random time.  You might think that it’s a good thing, how can it be bad to shoot up to a high mood right?  Well, when there are no logical reasons to be in such an elevated mood a bipolar person can succumb to all sorts of crazy activity … some of it potentially damaging, even deadly.  The brain is a fragile and delicate instrument and for those afflicted with bipolar, life is filled with all sorts of heavy duty work.

In a highly elevated mood, bipolars can experience what is called “grandiosity.”  This is one of the most malicious of all symptoms.  It has been described as a flight of ideas, the feeling one can conquer the world.  You don’t see yourself as Napoleon as a schizophrenic might, but you see yourself as like Napoleon out to conquer the world and you never feel as if you can lose.  This is one possible symptom of a manic episode.  The manic episode can last several days and I have even read of famous bipolars who experienced these for months or more.  This has an effect on blood pressure, spending, sleep habits, etc.  The manic episode has a profoundly devastating effect on relationships, jobs, family, and finances.  I read of one man who went to 20 stores over a 2 days period without sleeping to buy every Buzz Lightyear action figure.  When the episode passed, he realized he had maxed many credit cards in this manic acting out.  Bipolars in a manic state can be very offended and angry if you confront them.  Often this can lead to a straight jacket and a paddy wagon to a hospital.

Then there is the depression.  Just like on a globe there is a South pole and a North pole that are diametrically opposed, so the moods of a bipolar are polarized.  If you remember having a dog or pet die, you remember sinking moods.  Some drops in mood are inevitable in normal brains.  In biopolars they attack viciously with no regard for reason.  For bipolars, ones mood will drop from being manic to being in the utter depths of despair.  I know many people reading this understand depression.  We call this “unipolar.”  The psyche and mood of a person stays down too long and that produces debilitating issues for the depressed person.  For the bipolar person it can be multiple times worse due to all the damage one has done while manic.  Depending on how severe the episode, the bipolar may not even remember the insane theings she/he did while manic.  In a depressed state she/he is ill-equipped to pick up the pieces and get their mood back to normal.

It is like the mood thermostat is broken.  You might set it on “calm” but it fluctuates out of control without any mercy whatsoever.  The brain of a bipolar lacks the natural ability to adjust moods.  Thank goodness for bipolars, there is a wonder drug called Lithium that we will discuss in a future post.  Lithium acts as a repairman who can make the thermostat work a heck of a lot better than without.  As I discuss how Lithium works, I think you will be shocked and amazed to hear about the stigma that keeps many individuals and families from taking this drug.  The same way a Cat5e patch cable connects a computer to a network, si Lithium enables the bipolar to function in society. I’ll explain how it was discovered as a drug for bipolars and why anyone diagnosed with bipolar should talk to their psychiatrist about getting it if they haven’t already.  Lithium is the thermostat fixer for bipolar.  There is hope, thanks to Lithium.

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This is a guest post by Derek from Derek Semmler dot com.

The other day Damien was discussing summer memories and asked about the strongest memory of your youth.

When my mind begins to wander through the collection of youthful summer memories, I immediately think of the flour fight that I had with my sister or the long summer days spent playing baseball with my buddies. Or the time that my best friend and I ran away from home, for all of three hours until we were caught when he insisted on sneaking home to use the bathroom.

While there are many pleasant memories that I could share with you, instead I want to discuss a not-so-fond memory from my youth and how I recently caught myself committing the same blunder with my children.

The essence of this memory is this: stop the criticism, inspire your children.

Throughout junior high and high school, I played football and hockey. While not the gifted athlete, I held my own pretty well in both sports and always put forth my best effort on game day.

After the game, I would usually catch a ride home with my dad. The memory that stands out to me about these post-game trips was not the acknowledgement of the goal I scored or the tackles that I made; but instead the criticism of how I should have scored two goals or how I missed three tackles. As a kid, I found this to be extremely frustrating and wanted to scream at my dad.

Looking back on these situations now, I understand that my dad meant well. He wanted the best for me and was attempting to offer his suggestions on how I could improve. But at the time I wanted no part of hearing the “help” that my dad was offering.

Now, here I am some 15+ years later and I recently caught myself following a similar pattern.

The Little League season just kicked off and my oldest son had his first game this past weekend. While he played a great game, making a nice play in the field and bringing in an RBI, he also had a few lapses.

As we walked to the car after the game, I shared with him that I thought he played a great game and then began to comment that he could have had two more hits had he not watched the ball and ran hard to first base. As I was beginning to tell him what he needed to do better, I had a flashback to the conversations that I had with my dad and I stopped in mid-sentence. When he looked at me, I just said that I thought he played great and I was proud of him.

When it comes to sports, I believe that many fathers want their son to be the superstar athlete - often times because they wanted to be themselves but never were. While the criticism is delivered with the best of intentions, unfortunately it rarely comes across as beneficial.

As parents, we need to stop the criticism of our children’s performance and instead offer our unconditional support and inspiration. If you feel that criticism is necessary, save it for a casual conversation days after the performance, not immediately afterwards on the trip home.

In an effort to inspire your children, try the following suggestions:

• Highlight the things that they have done well. Positive reinforcement of their performance will boost their confidence and they will revel in the fact that they have made you proud.
• Ask them how they feel they performed. Your child may very well be aware of things that they could have done better. Rather than offer your feedback, simply listening to them can be very rewarding.
• Be there for them. Is your child asking you to practice with them? Are you attending their performances? When your child looks for you, be there in full support of their activity.

The next time you find yourself beginning to criticize your child’s performance, stop yourself and offer a few encouraging words to inspire them to continue giving their best effort.

The memories will be much more enjoyable for both of you as a result.

You know it isn’t often I run across a blog and instantly become a fan. That’s how it was for me a few months ago when I found It Might be Love. Of course I am a hopeless romantic so this blog appealed to me right away. It’s an unobtrusive, unassuming blog that has a post every day on the issue of love in our lives. With so many blogs focused solely on material things or building traffic, it is refreshing to find one that is a niche blog about something so visceral and universal as love! Michelle Stein is the owner and main author of this blog. So far I have enjoyed reading her blog and writing there as a guestblogger. I asked her for an interview last week and was so pleased when she accepted! The 10 question and answers are below.  I hope you enjoy it and visit her blog.  My words are italicized:

Q1: Hi Michelle, thanks for letting me interview you I think your blog is great. How did you come up with the niche and/or idea of a love blog?
I didn’t really have a plan when I bought the domain name. I was plugging in random website names to see what was available and “it might be love” was a phrase that entered my mind for some reason. The more I thought about it the more I liked it - because what is love anyway? Does anyone really know? Love can be so many things for so many different people. Everything else sort of just took off from there.

Q2: Do you hold any degrees or special training to talk about love online? If not, what is it about you that makes your contribution special?
I am glad you asked this question because I would not want anyone to ever think I’m an expert when I’m not. I don’t have any formal training or degrees in psychology, which suits me just fine. I have adopted the “Good Will Hunting” philosophy of learning, meaning you can learn anything you want to know for “”a buck fifty in late fees from the library”.

I think that is what makes It Might Be Love so unique…I’m just a “real person”…sharing what I’ve experienced and learned along the way. There is no one-size-fits-all textbook definition of love. While I genuinely respect the “experts” I think you can only understand love through your experiences. I believe we are all capable of learning more about love and teaching what we learn to others.

Q3: Do you draw from your personal experiences a lot or others?
I would say 90% of the things I write about are from my own personal experiences. The other 10% comes from various people I’ve met and the situations they’ve been in or the things they have taught me. I hopefully have a lot more in life to experience and learn, so I don’t think I’ll ever run out of things to talk about!

Q4: Would you say love takes work or are you one who sees “the one” scenario as the secret to bliss 24/7?
I think you need to be able to find “the one” you can work with. We get caught up in the idea of meeting “the one” so we are often fooled by things like romance or compatibility. I know I thought I met “the one” long before I actually met “the real one”. Staying together in my opinion is all about how well you work together, problem solve, communicate, and how much trust and respect you have for each other.

Q5: How old is the blog and how is it going in your opinion? Why do you say that?
I’ve had the site for almost 2 years - but the site you see today has only been the way it is since this March after I accidentally deleted everything that was on there before! I decided to start over completely from scratch and switched over to Wordpress. I think it’s better now than ever – and now I have an automatic back-up system for my database in place! Traffic is steadily increasing each week and I’ve received nothing but positive feedback. I’m hoping to launch a couple of contests and freebie promotions in the upcoming months so I’m excited about that as well!

Q6: That’s awesome, we will be watching for those for sure and I hope you don’t mind if i promote them on Postcards from the Funny Farm, I think your blog is GREAT! Okay, now for a personal question: What is your current relationship status and how did the two of you meet?

I am married to quite possibly the funniest guy in the world. When we got married he had me laughing so hard they actually said to me “Honey, you know this is serious, don’t you?”

I initially met my husband because he needed a Sharpie marker at the place we both worked. Nobody seemed to have one until he finally came across me. I was very skeptical about letting him borrow my marker, but he brought it back to me as promised, which really impressed me! We soon became friends and before long it only seemed natural for us to start dating.

Q7: Since it is somewhat of a how-to blog, can you tell us the secrets of a great love relationship?
A few weeks ago I wrote an article for Associated Content called the 5 C’s of a Happy Relationships wherein I wrote that happy relationships need these 5 things: Communication, Caring, Consideration, Courage, and Creativity. While I wouldn’t call that the “secret” I do think if you can learn to understand and apply those principles in your current or next relationship it’s a very good place to start towards having a happy and healthy relationship.

Q8: What is your biggest love about blogging?
The thing I like most about blogging is that I can write to my heart’s content and share what I wrote with the rest of the world if they want to read it. We always think we’re too insignificant to make a difference in anyone’s life. But if just one person finds something I write to be inspiring or enjoyable than I consider it “mission accomplished.”

Q9: What is your biggest pet peeve of blogging?
It used to be spam but since I activated Askimet I haven’t had too many problems with that lately. So I guess now it would have to be the technical side of the blog - writing html and php and getting pictures to display correctly. There have been times it takes me 4 or 5 tries to get something to look the way I want it to!

Q10: If you could give us “lovers” out there one piece of advice, apart from subscribing to your RSS and reading your blog every day, of something we can do to make our love relationship better, what would it be?
Well I definitely like the subscribe idea! One thing I think most people could do rather easily is to start giving your partner just one little thing every day. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. It can be a hug, a joke, a half an hour of your uninterrupted attention, an offer to wash the dishes, a phone call just to say “Hi”. It doesn’t matter what you give them, just the fact that you gave them anything. I honestly believe the more you give to your relationship, the more you will get back out of it.

Thank you so much for the interview Damien! I really enjoyed answering your questions!

You are very welcome Michelle, I enjoyed asking them :) If you, my readers, are interested in reading Michelle’s blog, I highly encourage you! Here is the url: itmightbelove.com/

Update: I wrote the post below 8 months ago. Since then, Randy has been on Oprah and the cover of every magazine imaginable. You can read how he is doing on his journey here. This guy is an incredible example of a possibility thinker. I try to emulate him. As you read his story, I think you will see why.

This morning on the way to work I heard Bill Handel on 640 KFI am radio talking about The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch that took place at Carnegie Mellon University. It has become a trendy thing now for universities to have these lecture series with famous professors who “pretend” this is their last lecture, including all the wisdom they can muster. Usually these lectures draw in people from all over and they charge quite a bit for attendance.

At Carnegie Mellon a few days ago there was a “last lecture” that got the biggest turnout yet, probably because the 40-something lecturer Randy Pausch has invented an incredible software well known in the industry that teaches kids programming through 3D cartoon images. Unfortunately he won’t be able to see just how well it does because he has been given only 6 months to live with liver cancer. He amazingly still cracks joke better than a standup at the Improv.

As I listened to him lecture in a humorous “fun” way, I wiped back tears. This man, not much older than me and also with a family, is facing the biggest brick wall and limitaton to possibility thinking one can imagine, and yet he is still giving wisdom, joy, and wit to those of us who will remain. If anyone had an excuse to curl up and become a toxic person, it is this man. Still, he CHOOSES to live with an open mind toward the possibilities left in his life. Despite the storm, he is squinting to see the rainbow and I truly applaud him as a hero for that. At the KFI website this morning I was lucky to find a link to his “last lecture” (literally in his case). If you are interested in RAW words of inspiration from an in incredible guy you can watch this wmv video of the speech and hear this AMAZING thinker speak at length about possibility thinking. If you have the time, it is worth it. I am dedicating this post of the series to Randy Pausch and his family.

Video of the Speech:

Visit Randy Pausch’s Website: cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/

I wrote this guest post last month for Letters from the Soul but never got around to letting you know here. So here goes: JeanGrey has been very good to me letting me return to her blog post again. In fact, she’s asked me to become a regular contributor from here on out. I really appreciate that, as you know guest blogging is a very important exercise and experience for me along my blogging journey. This post is very close to my heart in that I discuss using imagery to communicate with your spouse (or other loved ones). I heavily subscribe to word pictures. If you’d like to read the guest post I wrote, it is linked at the url below:

url: lettersfromthesoul.com/2008/03 …

If you are interested in having me guestblog for your blog for free, read the page explaining the process and contact me. Thanks! I hope to hear from you. Guest blogging is a fun and great way to assist bloggers in practicing writing, networking, and affiliate marketing.

Online dating helped me find and marry my soul mate Sarah. I even found her during the “free trial” period so the service was free! I thought I’d write a blurb about Yahoo! Personals because I feature them as an advertiser. It isn’t just demographics that makes me do so (most my core readers are married). On the other hand, I chose them because I believe in their product. Most of all, I feature their ads because it worked for me.

I remember at that time feeling quite lonely in a new town with a new job and Yahoo! Personals connected me with Sarah when I really had no friends or family around to help me meet people. (interested readers can find more details on our &#....)

It works like this: You sign up and upload a small picture of yourself (actually this is optional but it really speeds things up!) Then, you fill out some profile questions and send out a few emails to members that you are interested in. Some, you will find, are indeed certified loony cases. Just keep telling yourself “All you need is ONE.” From there, as you sort through replies you will undoubtedly start to make email friendships. You will find yourself at your parents for thanksgiving sneaking to the computer to see what your online romance has to say.

If it works out perfect like it did for me, you’ll get married within a month! That was 5 years ago and now my wife and I have a wonderful family with laughs and memories that keep on going. If you are single and wanting someone special or if you know someone in your friends and family circle who feels that way, get tuned in to Yahoo! Personals. Trust me, it can work. All you Need is ONE. (and don’t be surprised when the ONE plus ONE turns into one or more beautiful kids! Be ready because it can happen fast!)

We took the kids out to pizza tonight. It’s one of those big places with games and prizes and such. I wrote a few captions to frame the pictures.Okay Dad, I’ll smile. After all, you brought me a lot of yummy desserts!

Daddy! My boot fell! sob sob.

Thanks for my boot Daddy.

I can make a goofy face just like you Dad.

Hey. Can I get more than just a saltine over here?

Hang on Ernie, we’re gonna step on it!

Brother won me a tiara with his tickets!

Bert, you okay back there buddy?

Brandon after being told to approach the counter or be ignored. Can you tell he’s approaching the pre-adolescent fun faces age?

Hmm, I wonder if people notice my boots.

I’m sorry I missed this post until the day had passed! You better bet I am puttin’ it on my calendar for next year. I may start a petition to get it going as a national holiday. Can you imagine what a cool day off work that would be??? Get the 411

What do you do in this situation? You just got the 2 babies calmed down in their car seats and they’ve fallen asleep. It’s only 5pm so do you wake them up to get them tired again for bedtime? -or- Do you carefully ease them both into their beds? This is just one of those dilemmas of parenthood. So … what did I do you may ask? Take a guess (hint … I am blogging now but may be paying for it later LOL).