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Owners do “walk-throughs” starting at the storefront. Then, they adjust and repair things accordingly. I have always seen a parallel in a storefront to the self.
When you enter a store, hopefully there is an owner who thinks about you, the customer. If you need something, he’ll guide you to that place. If you have a complaint, or if someone treats you unfairly, he’ll step in to make it right by you. Owners accept everything.
When I was an area coach for Pizza Hut, I used to love to see my managers out in front of the store picking up slips of trash and sweeping. It showed ownership. We as ordinary people seeking self-improvement need to step back and check our own storefront, which is “the self.”
Here are some points you might find on that sort of checklist:
Appearance: A big one. How do I look? The way we present ourselves to the world affects the way we are received. Success isn’t all luck as many failures would have us believe.
Friendliness: Do I look people in the eye? Do I show concern for their needs? Am I interested? Being friendly with the world outside the storefront develops our reputation person by person and often brings in to us better opportunities. Owners commit themselves to listening then finding solutions.
Service: Was I able to help people around me today? Did I steer people in the right direction? Did I engage in conversation that was helpful?
Relevance: Was I relevant? Have I striven to become effective in relevant areas of my work, my friends, my family?
If I am a storefront then how do I look? If I am the store, how am I inside and more importantly, how would others rate me? Ultimately we should mostly strive to pass our own rating since the crowd can be fickle. Still, let us never forget that every person’s view of us is, at varying levels, important.
Now, step back and look at yourself: If only for this day, own the storefront, the world will notice.
My wife invited me up as she was painting our son’s room. She’s sort of “owned” it as her task and art project and up to now she hadn’t invited me into the mall of plastic, masking tape, and drop cloths that is Brandon’s room.
As I saw her virtually collapsed under the window, I asked her what I could do to help finish the job. I could tell she was feeling overwhelmed so I started showing her how it would be easy for me to finish the last wall. It needed tape on the base and the top and it needed primering and then a couple coats of paint on top of that. At the time I had just received a $30 writing offer which for me is huge. I’ve been trying lately to get blog jobs that pay, but here my wife was virtually collapsed. I decided I’d be quite the selfish idiot if I put this job off.
I sent my wife downstairs with the order of getting some food. It was after noon and she was a little shaky from not having eaten yet. After she left I learned a great lesson. I looked at all the stuff that needed to be done and decided instead of trying to do it all, I would select a small part and do it perfectly. Then I did that. After that, I picked another one and so on. Within an hour, I finished the room. When my wife came up to check on me with a piece of toast in her hand, she was astonished at all I had accomplished.
She went out to the jacuzzi with our one and three year old, and I went downstairs where I was able to finish that big writing job. Victory! Lesson learned?
When painting, or life, gets overwhelming, map out chunks at a time to finish. Don’t get overwhelmed. Before you know it, you’ll be victorious.
Unhappy with your occupation? Your dream job could be a few-clicks-and-the-making-of-a-video-away! If you are 100% content with your career, just laugh at the video, leave me a cool comment, and move on. Everybody else: Check out FutureResume.com.
FutureResume.com is a new company I am excited to tell you about. In the same way video dating companies have revolutionized the way people find love, so now FutureResume.com has applied the video concept to job searching and more importantly … job applicant screening. From their about page:
Companies waste a significant amount of time and money searching for and interviewing prospective candidates only to learn what might have been expressed up front in a short video introduction. FutureResume.com simplifies the selection process by allowing candidates to show their personality and professional commitment right on our website.
Folks, if you are out work, looking to change careers, or just starting out, this is the place I would start with a video and the services they offer. To show you how it works, I have made a short video myself for this post. Vote for me here.
This video is part of a current contest which you can enter as well. Here’s the contest details.
“Keep moving forward” is one of Walt Disney’s most famous catch phrases. My godfather wrote it in my college graduation card and it meant as much to me then as it does now. There’s something about giving life your best shot and not looking back. Here are some words that describe this state:
determined, dedicated, committed (not the mental hospital kind ;) ) driven … there are more words, but I digress
I think looking back and second guessing yourself can be a very bad thing. While self-reflection and course correcting are noble attributes and certainly necessary for success, they should be done in moderation and within reason. Over analyzing and regretting can destroy a vision and a dream. The Amazing Visions out there becoming reality for millions don’t stop just because some give up on theirs. When you really don’t look back, you’ll find less use for the paranoia of the past and you’ll start looking into the higher concerns, like travel insurance, while you head on your way toward your dreams.
Today, whatever your dream is, whatever your vision, why don’t you try looking ahead without reservation. Let Possibility Thinking become your modus operandi. Don’t get paranoid about failing, don’t worry about some mistake you have already done. Our failures are our best teachers. Turn to your dream, your vision and then do all you can to make it happen and then let the chips fall where they may.
Do you keep a calendar on your fridge? If you’re like us in our house, that’s the place we compare our lives with one another. If Sarah has a doctor’s appointment or the girls have birthdays to go to, we find it all there. That’s where we check ourselves. If a stressful event is coming up, such as moving, which we are scheduled to do May 14th, we all count the days and wonder ethereally what life will be like on the other side. Now if you are a self-improvement junkie like I am, you have probably read a dozen or more books on the aphorism: “Life’s a journey, not a destination,” but it really is true and yet even we can lose sight of it. I am not that old, but I’m old enough to know that the baby clothes that fit today will be in a bag out for Goodwill before you know it.
I ran across this video at Grow Thyself and it really made my evening, reminding me of that little aphorism we say so much as self-improvement junkies. Enjoy!
Is there a destination you “can’t wait” to arrive at? How does this video affect you?
Have a great day, and remember: It’s a journey thing.
It’s the question I’ve been getting for weeks now. Ever since I ordered my glasses through Zenni optical for $8 (after S&H is was 12 which is still a mind boggling deal.) You see, my insurance only allows me a free pair every 2 years so this service was a godsend. And what’s more, I get a lot of compliments on the glasses! The process is simple. If you know your prescription or if you have a copy of it, you just enter it into their form and then select your glasses frames. They have expensive stuff too, but if you’re like me - cheap works fine!
What follows is an amazing poem from that post. It really helped me put a stressful day into perspective and get in a good mood again. This is definitely the best thing I’ve run across today:
Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can’t speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who’s crying out to God for a companion.
Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to the grave.
Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.
Yesterday I was reminded how much friends matter. I have been so caught up playing in my work sandbox that I have neglected spending time with my best friend Eric. Today I drove down to see him and we just had a great time. Seeing my friend is empowering and encouraging. He reminds me of all the years and things I have been through and I do the same for him. The following are some reasons (out of about a million) why going to hang out at Eric’s is awesome (sidenote, my friend Eric Stefani is the artist who created my character in the header of this blog):
We always eat at a great restaurant.
Sometimes we record music in his studio.
We talk about “meaning of life” type stuff.
He gives me great ideas like that I should write a script with a soundtrack.
I miss my family and return to them with fresh eyes.
I was talking to someone the other day and they told me drama was inevitable in their life. I disagreed and made a suggestion that has worked for me during similar pessimistic times:
Make a list of what you want.
It’s great for focusing your own energies on your goals as well as setting an example for your family. I remember making a list like this with my wife several years ago. Many of my “dreams” on that list have since come true. For example, at the time I dabbled in a personal website but had a larger dream of being published. Since then, I’ve become a regular contributor to 3 online publishing platforms and I run 3 other blogs of my own. This has required a lot of patience on my wife’s part and a lot of hours of work on mine. I truly feel though it all started through making and sharing that list.
When making a list like this, one should let ones mind run free. Put on some relaxing music … go sit with a yellow pad under a tree … write it while sipping your favorite hot beverage … whatever. The point is, you shouldn’t let limitations of everyday family life, married life, your job, or other constraints get in the way of what you want. Things you see as impossible can materialize when you start “believing” anything can happen.
Furthermore these dreams can actually make the things you once saw as limitations transform into miracles. Those very limitations (or at least the things you see as limitations) can be the yellow brick road to your “Oz.” I am not into the modern bestseller they call “The Secret” per se, nor do I believe in karma 100%. I say 100% because I do believe in the direction of dreams. I see proof of it in people like Walt Disney, Wrig.... Then there’s me for example, when I see myself as a successful writer there is an energy there that brings things into concert with itself. But unlike the required success of the Secret, even if I don’t turn out being as famous as I’d hoped, I have an amazing experience along the way. When your cause is true, you can’t lose.
I think I’m about due for a new list.
It’s not that my dreams have all come true, but many have. My dream list now is more about simplifying. I want to be able to maintain the projects I’ve been blessed with. To further the writing example (just one of my many dreams): I want to be a great writer that creates images with words for people, like paths to paradise. I want to keep every writing endeavor “holy,” not in the religious sense but in the sense Allen Ginsberg talked about: sacred.
I know that through time my dreams will change, but I will not stop having them and writing them down. One day when my kids read these words, and they will because I’ve made a plan to keep these blogs intact ... hopefully many many years from now, they will know above all else that I was not a coward about dreaming. Their dad sets out to define what he wants and then works to make it happen. They are living proof since all three of them were once my dreams. The list is a good thing, I strongly recommend you make on and then get back to me on this question:
Have you ever had to ask for one of these on your own behalf? It’s a real drag for me because I hate to ask for someone to take time out of their busy day and write a letter for me that will do nothing for them whatsoever. I’m more into reciprocal favors, that way both sides benefit. I’ve probably had to ask a dozen or so people in my career to write me these letters and it’s always been uncomfortable. But today, I am starting to think maybe it was just me feeling uncomfortable.
An aide here at work asked me for one and even though I was quite busy, I enjoyed writing it for her. She’s a very hard working sub and aide and it made me happy to help her get into the workforce in a new job she is looking for. I suppose I am now the experienced one in the field being asked to do the writing and I can tell you, I don’t mind it at all!
I’ve written on this blog before about how asking for help can really further your career, and maybe now I am closer to accepting my own advice. There are some things I have learned that I must relearn and relearn again. For me, asking for something like a letter of recommendation is one of those really hard things to do: I know it’s my right and privilege to do, but I still hate doing it.
How do you feel about asking for letters of recommendation?
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Owners do “walk-throughs” starting at the storefront. Then, they adjust and repair things accordingly. I have always seen a parallel in a storefront to the self.
I'm Damien Riley, author and teacher. Here you'll find "think outside the box" posts on psychology and inspiration. 
