Postcards from the Funny Farm

Last time I wrote to you about the Power of Mantra. Before starting this as part two, Listen for Half a Day, I went back and read it again. I also took a nice long walk around my neighborhood admiring lawns and pink flamingoes, trying to make sure the next post was helpful and relevant to the series. The subject I realized today is another key tip in practicing an open mind.

As creative, enlightened people, we should actively practice an open mind by listening as much as possible.

I hope that will make perfect sense to you after I have given you many ways to do it through the course of this series. Please feel encouraged to subscribe to this series via -or- . I’m excited about how valuable this is in opening ones mind.

To make a quick example, listen to this “open mind” tip on traveling:

Usually cheap flights have no issues in the flight performance but are a part of an economical deal, and hence cheap. The deals usually promote hotels. But if one does want to travel cheap, the best way is to stay at a travel lodge instead.

Here, you see having an open mind can save you money, and peace of mind.  I learned this deal because I took the time to listen.  In doing so, that which I thought was impossible is possible.

We’ve all heard the statistics about how women have larger brains and how they are better listeners and better at many other things than men. I am not here to argue that at all. My wife knows full well how much I believe she is playing with a larger emotional deck that I am. What I want to stress is that I believe women and men, based on my experience of family, work, and life, are all generally poor at listening. In fact, it might be a cultural thing that we as Americans do not like to listen. Many are like me, we like to talk, fast, hard, and loud, no matter who gets hurt or shut out.

What if you could be more enlightened about what the people around you think?

The other day I caught myself lecturing my son on how his things were in every room in the houses where they didn’t belong (including a shoe at the bottom of the pool). As I rambled on and watched his bulbous brown eyes begin to well up tears, I listened to myself and it was not the ideal I have for myself. Ever done that?

It is phenomenal how much our mind is opened when we listen fully to someone else. Active listening is when you say back what the other is saying periodically and that is a good idea. But can you listen to people for half a day and not have a response? I’ve tried it and friends it aint easy. Just let what they are saying penetrate your mind, don’t respond except for the normal, OK etc. This is crucial to the experiment.

I could give you many statistics on how listening makes you a better person and such, but let’s just try the experiment what do you say? Starting right now at 11:26am until 6 or 7 tonight when I am doing my evening laps and jacuzzi time, I am going to listen. We haven’t been to church in a while and we decided to go to Saturday night services tonight … I might have picked the perfect day ;)

At any rate, whatever you do and whoever you interact with, this is a good exercise. I think you will be blown away at the paradigm shifts you experience and the broader, more open mind that you enjoy as a result. If you are a blogger you might try interviewing someone you respect. Heck, we may all decide to never speak again! …probably not, but it sounded like a good close. Whether you do this experiment or not, I’d love to get your comments on the concept of listening.

Remember: The goal of each of these posts is to give you a more open mind.

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I was out by the pool this weekend and spent some time in between swims with my best friend Eric Stefani and my son “flying” on the trampoline.

This was an excellent “exercise in play” and as a result my mind is filled with creative possibilities. Anyway, I picked 8 to post. Just click on the photo to see the album.

If you have a trampoline, you should do a little flying whenever you can. If you’re like me, it will do wonders.

A realistic note on play: We obviously can’t play every day of our lives. For many people, their home office is where they spend the most time. If that’s the case for you, I have an excellent resource to recommend. You can shop on line for the best “most playful” if you like office furniture. In any case, get your environment the way you want it: then play!

Our parents occupy a space in our psyches that determines so many of our thought patterns. It starts when we are very young babies and continues on until even after they pass away and we ourselves become the unique parents and grandparents. If we are fortunate, our parents are people we can and should trust as children and into adulthood. For me, and many I hope, our parents give us unconditional love that enables us to do the great things we dream of. You see that kind of love in church and on religious jewelry, but rarely do we run across it in life.

When we are kids, mom and dad’s discipline is usually dreaded. It makes us angry. They tell us to not run across wet tile and to make sure we wear a coat outside when it’s cold. We of course resent these demands as children and automatically assume our parents are ordering out out of spite, envy, or just plain meanness. The craziest thing is that when we slip on the floor after disobeying or when we catch a nasty could and cough for not heeding our parents’ commands, we still resent them. It flies in the face of reason but I see it often in my own son and I remember the same pattern happening when I was young. Now, at age 39, I find myself hungering for advice from my parents. They give it when I ask but it is not the same. It’s like an unwritten rule that when you do become an adult, you have to find your own way. DOH! Reality bites sometimes.

I got that title from an old Alarm song. It’s a great tune with an even greater message for the visionaries among us in 2008.

Instead of waiting for others to be our inspiration, we have to be the inspiration to others AND to ourselves.

As you may have gathered from this series’ title, I grew up in Orange County. 45 minutes from Disneyland and 2 hours from the Mexico border. Nice living! When I moved up here to the high desert of California in August of 2002 I had nothing more than 300 bucks in my pocket and what seemed like a mystical job contract to teach public school. I left behind a rental apartment and everything else that had been “home.” I had decided some months earlier that a return to teaching was what my life and soul needed at age 33. You can read more about my transition back into teaching in my article entitled: Success and Relativity. Anyway, I didn’t mind the details of the move, I just knew this was my return to teaching and return to joy. It was as if I was in the story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the teaching job was my “golden ticket.”

The people I met up here, from the interview onward were magical. They saw the light in me and in turn I saw theirs. People offered to let me sleep on their couches, rent their condos, go out to dinner with them, set me up with women … note: I was single then … it was like out of a dream. The dream wasn’t so much about what they offered me though, it was about the light they shined into my heart. I remember thinking of the high desert as a magical place that no one in Orange County, where I grew up, could ever touch. Well, of course, I see now after nearly six years that wasn’t the case, it was merely my perception brought on by simple things people did.

The people were and still are magical but many have left the desert. One woman in particular who was instrumental in hiring me sufferred unspeakable loss when her son and his wife lost a baby in delivery. This world can be so harsh. She left the district and I don’t see her anymore. Others have retired and some have just moved on. I find myself sometimes asking: “Was the magic real? Where has it gone?” There you have the place to put my title: We are the Light.

In life we are lucky at times to be touched by the magic of others. We must never forget however that we have that same power to touch others. We see the light in people they often don’t see themselves. Let your words and actions pour light like water into the “vases” of people. Let them be better for knowing you. I’ll never forget the time my Grandpa had such an impact on me when he bought me a set of Callaway irons as a kid. I used to polish them nightly. Golf was a better game for me because of his generosity. That’s the kind of impact we should all have.

Remember also that the world is not always a mystical place. It is most the time, at its most complex level, just people walking on sand getting to their next destination. It takes people of vision, like you and I my friend, to to create the perception of magic.

The things that are eternal are actions and words you dream. Only you can start them. Only you can bring them back. Only you can keep them going. There really isn’t much to say on this except: GO AND DO!

An aside here at closing: Below are 4 of my family pictures. Each person in them “happened” post-desert … post-magic. Looking at them reminds me that home is where I probably need to shine the brightest, before I take on the world. Wouldn’t you agree?