Postcards from the Funny Farm

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Below is yet another post about having an open mind:
I had a professor of a writing class in college who told us she knew a famous actress. I would tell you who if I could recall but at the time I didn’t know them since they were a very old actress and the name didn’t imprint in my memory as a result. At any rate, this professor of mine, who was getting to the retiring age herself, mentioned to us that the woman had such grace and elegance in the way she ran her affairs. My teacher took care of her library for her and cleaned the house a bit while in college which was nearby. Because I really respected this teacher as a confident writer, I was all ears when she told this story. One day she asked the woman how she lived with such grace, happiness, and success and was now aging the same way and the woman said this simple mantra:

Accept everything.

Let’s look at that wisdom three ways. It could mean:

1. Don’t shut any person or idea out. Let it run completely through your mind and stand or fall on it’s own merits. This is a tough one to universalize. It is more like an inner mantra that can’t be directly applied to some concrete issues. Still, I like the idea of accepting everything in this respect.
2. Don’t be too good for any offer that comes your way. When you get work accept it. If you get a job for $8 do it like it was a job for 80K. I really like this idea.
3. And finally, be gracious. This is by far the best way I can think of to interpret it.

We had to write something on those 2 words when she shared them and I don’t have the paper I wrote at the time. I do carry them with me and I say them often. She was Canadian, I’m starting to think they know something we don’t up there.I’d like to know what they mean to you, any takers? Don’t be shy, just throw one out there.

While I’m on the subject of acceptance: If you are not content to accept your weight, a good resource may be weight loss pills.  Thanks for your support of Postcards from the Funny Farm.

As I close up this series, I am very proud of the idea. It moved my mind in places I hardly ever examine. To me, the ever elusive definition of a blog is encapsulated in a series like this: it helps me to write, maybe it will help someone out there to read. Have I mentioned I’m taken in with the blog phenomena? Maybe I didn’t have to. If you don’t have one yet, you really should start. I explain how to start a Wordpress blog in a recen.... But onto the need to relax …

Whereas the human animal reacts … the evolved human analyzes and second guesses. This is the only thing that separates us. I heard a story this week of a sub who couldn’t control her mouth. What a shame. Apparently the “F” word was uttered and some students when to the office to report it. Now, I am not saying kids are always angels, but they should be protected from people yelling profanity at them. Teaching is a profession, not a social program. If someone is not willing to put in the creative effort to manage kids, then they shouldn’t be doing it. We should all, whether teaching or not, be inspiring to the kids in our sphere.  I fully expect this teacher to experience bad results as the effects of her actions. It’s too bad in a way because subs have it pretty hard. At the same time, this teacher was a grownup and she could have chosen to calm down and not yell the expletive.

Being calm and relaxing at will is not a optional skill for life. If you can’t be calm, you will one day face the consequences for it. Whether it is through losing your job or worse yet, physical and even terminal disease. It is proven that our temperament affects our bodies and so it follows that we must always strive to have a positive temperament. The alternative? Unemployment … divorce … sickness R.... Are all these worth purging your temper?

I feel glad that this series will always be here for me to go back to, and maybe for you when you find yourself unable to relax. If you treat your nerves and temperament with the same attention you would give your own child that you love, you will find you are much better equipped to enhance the world around you. If the minor tips in the series are not enough or if you just want more, I’d encourage you to seek out more knowledge. If you are a human, it will do you much good.

On that note: credit card debt relief can help you relax. Try it out!

Post image source: Wikipedia, PD

This post was inpsired by a children’s book I read my kids a lot.

Did you ever think a choice was good and when you took it found you were stuck headed to a dead end? This happened to me once when I was 19. I had just quit my job at the grocery store (anyone out there old enough to remember Alpha Beta?) I had been in some power struggles with my boss there. He had been scheduling me when my band had gigs etc. paying no attention to my notes when I needed time off. You know, typical 19 year old “finding his way,” “challenging authority” type stuff. I quit and he told me I was welcome to come back anytime. I remember thinking: “Thanks but no thanks pal … I’ll never be back dude.”

I had a tough time finding a job at that time with no education and not much experience. The ones I did find paid diddly squat like a Christmas job I got at the mall selling ornaments. At that same time, my dad and I had started going at it as well. I was totally into my music and playing in my band wherever I could get a show. Anyway, he had been telling me that unless I got enrolled in college, I’d have to start paying rent. Doesn’t it seem like when the heat is on, life just turns up the burners? Well, for me at that time the key was getting moved out and making more money than I made as a clerk at Alpha Beta. Then it happened:

I called one of those “manpower” type placement services. After about 99 forms, they said they had a “match” for me. It was stuffing microchips into long plastic strips. Then, sealing them and finally shipping them to various places. I stood at a line all day doing these tasks and heard the most foul profanity and odd stories from an ex-con on my left, about 10 years my senior, and two other guys that resented my squeaky clean personality as much as the ex-con did. They wanted me out of there from my first minute on the line. After a week I wanted to quit so bad but I didn’t have the balls to walk off the job from my supervisor. After two weeks of hearing stories about what marijuana is the best and women with “inverted nipples,” I knew I had to get out.

If you’ve read the story by Maurice Sendak Where the Wild things Are it’s a very close parallel. Max gets mad and punished by his mom, sent to bed without any supper. He dreams of where the wild things are only it goes better for him, they make him their king. After a time he wants to go back and they don’t want to let him go. In my case they were like: “Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.”

About that time, I started looking into this college thing my dad kept forcing me into. As it turned out, college gave me a great career and a good life. I plan to pressure my kids the same way. For a little while they may flee to where the wild things are. But eventually They’ll come back to what’s real and what’s home … at least, that’s the hope all of us parents need to hold onto. After all, what do the wild things have that we don’t? I sure am glad I sailed in and out of a year to get back to my room where supper was waiting “and it was still hot.”

Did you ever stray out to where the wild things are?

Katelynn is a writer I ran across recently with a real hunger to write and connect through her writing. She has a very upbeat tone in all her posts and I was lucky to get her to guestblog at Postcards today. There is more 411 on her in the footer of this post. Enjoy her thoughtful and talented contribution!

Damien contacted me a few days ago and asked if I would be interested in doing a guest blog for him. He said he preferred the topic to be about inspiration or psychology. Since I know nothing about psychology I decided to go with inspiration (:

Because I write, not only on my blog but other writing outlets as well, inspiration is huge to me. Sometimes it’s hard to look around and feel inspired because we see our surroundings constantly. Everyday, there’s the same neighbors, same work place, same family, same habits. But if we look a little bit deeper, there’s always something there waiting for us, ready to jump out and surprise us.

One evening I was sitting down chatting to my dad, drinking a cup of tea and just enjoying the comforts of my family. My dad is from England, he came to Canada when he was 29 and decided to stay once he met my mom. I am extremely proud of my British heritage, possibly because of the novelty of it, but also because of the history. Taking a sip of his tea, dad started to tell me a story I hadn’t heard before.

A great aunt of mine had moved to Ireland with her family way back when. In this point in time the IRA were openly threatening and taking the lives of their opposition. Their influence was a constant worry for the Irish communities.

My aunt had been invited to a dance, her chauffeur, Teddy, drove the car to the entrance, helped her into the back seat and closed the door behind her. The manor where the evening was taking place was quite aways from my aunts estate and as they drove along the country roads, the sun set on the hills; it was a beautiful fall evening.

Turning a corner they came across a site I’m sure my aunt never forgot. A confrontation had occurred between the IRA and several other men. The men had been shot and left for dead along the roadside. Ordering her driver to stop, my aunt, not caring about her beautiful clothes, jumped out of the car and ran to the side of one of the men, his chest bloody and eyes distant. There was no pulse. Teddy called for her to come back, he warned that the IRA members might still be near and she would be in danger. She didn’t care, the went from one man to the next, checking for signs of life. Unfortunately, these are all the details I know of the story even though I have asked more family for details.

See what I mean about being inspired? Just when you think your family is normal and boring!

As bloggers it seems we’re constantly encouraged to join something, do something, or go somewhere interesting so we’ll have another topic to write about…and obviously there’s nothing wrong with that. But what about just sitting there, having a cup of tea with a relative, and finding out more of where you came from? If you’re even more adventurous, you could look even further in your background by hooking up with a family tree site and see what you come up with. Personally, I find it much more interesting to come from the horses mouth. Besides, family always enjoys company (:

Meet the Guest Blogger: Katelyn Jane, an Etsy Seller, creative blogger, wife and tea drinker, lives and writes in British Columbia, Canada. She loves riding her dog sled to work, inventing new storage ideas for her igloo and making leather with her teeth (or lack of).

I ran out of gas last night on my way home from the grocery store. I was there to pick up dinner and some sundry items, no big deal. As I was listening to Blackhawk on the radio, my mini-van sputtered and stalled. I thought my wife had said the E light just went on. I found out later it had been on E for quite some time (no duh).

I was right in the middle of an intersection and it was almost 8pm. Kind of freaky. I remember those high speed chases where the helicopter films the speeder getting owned by a car who didn’t see him. Yikes. I got out of the car immediately and started to push. Now I’m no weakling, but my 165 pound frame wasn’t getting the car to budge at all. Then they came, like planet of the apes monkeys. Some laughing, some tipping their hats … All of them rushing because they obviously had seen those high speed chases as well. I felt like they all had my back and I didn’t know any of them

Later on after my wife had come to pick me up, we got a gas can and some gas. When I put it in the car, the gas fumes were strong. I thought about the futility of life sometimes: cancer, drunk drivers, child deaths … It’s easy to give up hope sometimes. You have to find the strength in the goodness around you. Then I recalled the gang of helpful people who pushed my car like a knife through butter. Getting help can make life so much easier. I realized there is always a bright side to any given situation. I choose whether to focus on the fumes or the bright side every single day.

The good news is, we all ate our chicken bucket together with laughs. If something should happen in your life that makes you recoil like you would at gas fumes, make sure you remember theres two sides to every story and the side you choose is slowly writing the story of your life. I’ll never be perfect, I’ll always make some mistakes here and there. The significance of that fact? So I can be patient with others who make mistakes as well. Below is the Blackhawk song I was listening to when this all happened. Some great lyrics. Enjoy your Monday.

Aint no Yesterday
Blackhawk

I’ve been livin’ my life like a man in chains
Ever since she took her love away
But this is now and that was then
And baby all bad things gotta come to an end
Chorus
So tonight I’m throwing caution into the wind
Getting down to the business of living again

Back in the saddle and I’m holding the reins
Gonna find someone and love her
Like there ain’t no yesterday
Now it’s dark as a dungeon down where I’ve been
And there ain’t no way I’m going back again
I’ve got my best foot forward onto greener grass
‘Cause there ain’t no future living in the past
Chorus
Out of the ashes alive and free
No longer a slave to a memory
Got the rest of my life right out in front of me
Chorus

I bought a house today! Isn’t it absolutely amazing? 2 story 3 bedrooms with 2.75 bath and a den type room downstairs. Okay, I’ll admit it’s not as pricey and lush as those Branson homes for sale everyone is talking about, but we love it! This is our first home purchase, we have rented as a family for 6 years. Like my brother, our realtor, said “Good things come to those who wait.” It took us months to get pre-approved because our debt/income ratio is a little high due to my student loans. After getting approved for the loan, it only took us 3 days to find this dream-house and today they accepted our offer.

It has the coolest pool you ever saw. It reminds me of one of those 1950’s pool party movies. Sarah and I are thrilled. We can finally start taking pictures of our family in a place we are paying on to own. This is a great feeling. Since I share a lot of what’s going on in my life on here, I figured this was definitely appropriate! We move in in Mid May! Say tuned for the mother of all housewarming party pictures!

(and then … the Funny Farm Blogging convention party LOL)

Shelly just published an interview with me at her blog. In it I get the chance, because of her intuitive and thoughtful questions, to share my inspiration and some methods of blogging. If you’d like to check it out, it is at the url below:

thiseclecticlife.com/2008/04/03/interview-with-dam...

Incidentally, it is Shelly and I’s (can you say I’s and still claim to be an MA of English? Well, it sounds good so lay off LOL) Anyway, it is Shelly and I’s “Blogoversary” of meeting … Yes Shelly, it has been ONE YEAR!

How do I know you ask? I keep these things in a small spiral notebook next to my miniature dolls of state and local leaders LOL. No seriously, the first post she ever laughed and commented on here is linked below from April of ‘07. It’s probably one of my favorite pieces of writing I’ve yet to do. If interested, do check it out. Thanks for the friendship Shelly, and here’s to another year of blogging great posts and encouraging others like you do so well.

postcardsfromthefunnyfarm.com/2007/04/19/que-a-fun...

My esteemed writing colleague, fellow blogger and friend Shelly Tucker (photo at left) is hosting a writing contest on her vastly read and very popular blog, This Eclectic Life. She has very kindly asked me to be the judge and I accepted. There are some clear details listed on her site, but the general theme is called “Scared Silly.”

I am eager to hunker down and read some scary stories this month! I want to encourage my readers to go over there and get the details and then write a post for this. If you enter you get a backlink or two from both her and I, which as you recall I have been writing lately about the...! And if you win you’ll get some cash, which is always nice. Whatever happens, you’ll have a cool scary story post on your blog. And we all know your readers will love that! Also, as an added bonus, I will be posting an interview with the first prize winner here on my blog. So, until then I’ll be cuddling up with my biggest comforter sets and reading all this scary stuff!! eek.

Tiny Url: rurl.org/kpm

You may use the button to promote the contest in your neck of the woods. Thanks for your interest, once you go and read the details I hope to start reading your scary stories soon!

-Damien

I wanted to blog on psychology tonight. It’s been a weird couple of days as I’ve been suffering a bad cough and visiting with my parents and extended family. Every time I hang out with my parents I remember certain stories of my life growing up. The “wear pants” one is a classic and definitely blogworthy. This story will probably give you some insight as to why my blog’s title has the funny farm in it. No, I’m just kidding. My parents were and are the best. But sometimes they were quite direct with me. Too direct? You be the judge.

Around age 11 I was really into surf shorts. At that time, about 1981, Stubbies and OP shorts were all the rage. They were quite expensive but my parents were able to buy some for me. I’ll never forget how “stoked” I was to get those! Well, stoked that is until one day when something happened …

A girl I thought was cute told me on the playground one day: “You have knobby knees.” eek. I was crushed. When I got home that night I whined to my mom about what she said and played the pity party violin for a good long session. When I was done my mom simply said:

Wear pants.

How could she! How unfeeling! Shouldn’t she apologize about my DNA? These are the sorts of thoughts that ran through my mind. But I’ve grown to appreciate her advice in grown up life.

When I’m tempted to whine about things or whimper or murmur, etc., I tell myself “Wear pants.” It’s a short phrase and it has tons of meaning for me. If I get worried or upset or other negative emotion about something, I can summon this phrase. The truth is, my legs weren’t knobby forever. Like then, most troubles are fleeting. As the saying goes: “This too shall pass.” So, how about this as a slightly altered “Funny Farm” phrase coined here officially tonight: “This too shall wear pants.” ;)

Do you have a memory you’ve made into a phrase?

Thanks to Joanna at Confident Writing for offering this group writing project to her readers. I’ve been in love with writing from an early age and it is exciting to share about that on my blog. From making money publishing things to writing a random blog article describing how light and shadows fall, I have too many writing memories to share in one post. Having said that, here are two childhood accounts I’ve selected that started my love affair with writing.

I was an early reader of Dr. Seuss books such as: Hop on Pop, One Fish Two Fish … etc. At age 3 or 4 I was reciting each page to my mother and father as they read with me. In retrospect, I was probably just memorizing what they said and saying it back. But I got a lot of attention from that and that is why I think I continued to read so much as a young kid. Parents would do well to make a note of that. My first memory of getting recognized for writing was in fourth grade. Mrs. Van Diemen (pronounced Van demen) pulled me aside one day and asked me about a paper I had written. This was one of those papers where you use a vocabulary list to insert words that are new to you. I would look them up and then build a story with the new and mysterious words I had just learned. I don’t remember much about it but I do recall it was about a trip to my grandparents’ house for Thanksgiving. I remember one sentence used two vocabulary words: “tranquil” and “serene.” Anyway, she was very impressed with it and she was the school’s “GATE” coordinator (Gifted and Talented Education). She recommended me then and there for GATE and I remained a GATE student throughout my K-12 education. I didn’t always live up to the branding, but I was labeled just the same.

My next memory of writing was for when I wrote a short story that was published for the Orange County Fair competition. I was a few years older and the writing this time was a short story based loosely on the Wind in the Willows. They apparently saw no connection and crowned me for a weekend. I had a picture and story on me in the paper and I got free tickets to ride the rides.

Between then and now writing has been my constant companion and friend. I contribute to my blog daily and online publications monthly and I have had one teaching story published in a book (that was a real thrill). These are not lofty accomplishments by most professional writers’ standards I know, but to me they represent a love affair that is still alive.

I know there are many people nowadays that want to become rich and famous through blogs or other writing endeavors. They meet in back dining rooms of Denny’s and share their writing with groups that critique and supposedly “help” one another other get published. To those I would clarify that even though payment is nice:

if compensation were the main reason I chose to write, I wouldn’t be doing it at all. To me the best payment is the therapy it provides along with positive feedback. Writing and being read makes me feel “seen” and “heard.” Writing in my blog every day is like sitting with a good friend on a country front porch talking about the way the light and shadow falls on things. And even just that is interesting enough to both of us.