Postcards from the Funny Farm

Thanks to Joanna at Confident Writing for offering this group writing project to her readers. I’ve been in love with writing from an early age and it is exciting to share about that on my blog. From making money publishing things to writing a random blog article describing how light and shadows fall, I have too many writing memories to share in one post. Having said that, here are two childhood accounts I’ve selected that started my love affair with writing.

I was an early reader of Dr. Seuss books such as: Hop on Pop, One Fish Two Fish … etc. At age 3 or 4 I was reciting each page to my mother and father as they read with me. In retrospect, I was probably just memorizing what they said and saying it back. But I got a lot of attention from that and that is why I think I continued to read so much as a young kid. Parents would do well to make a note of that. My first memory of getting recognized for writing was in fourth grade. Mrs. Van Diemen (pronounced Van demen) pulled me aside one day and asked me about a paper I had written. This was one of those papers where you use a vocabulary list to insert words that are new to you. I would look them up and then build a story with the new and mysterious words I had just learned. I don’t remember much about it but I do recall it was about a trip to my grandparents’ house for Thanksgiving. I remember one sentence used two vocabulary words: “tranquil” and “serene.” Anyway, she was very impressed with it and she was the school’s “GATE” coordinator (Gifted and Talented Education). She recommended me then and there for GATE and I remained a GATE student throughout my K-12 education. I didn’t always live up to the branding, but I was labeled just the same.

My next memory of writing was for when I wrote a short story that was published for the Orange County Fair competition. I was a few years older and the writing this time was a short story based loosely on the Wind in the Willows. They apparently saw no connection and crowned me for a weekend. I had a picture and story on me in the paper and I got free tickets to ride the rides.

Between then and now writing has been my constant companion and friend. I contribute to my blog daily and online publications monthly and I have had one teaching story published in a book (that was a real thrill). These are not lofty accomplishments by most professional writers’ standards I know, but to me they represent a love affair that is still alive.

I know there are many people nowadays that want to become rich and famous through blogs or other writing endeavors. They meet in back dining rooms of Denny’s and share their writing with groups that critique and supposedly “help” one another other get published. To those I would clarify that even though payment is nice:

if compensation were the main reason I chose to write, I wouldn’t be doing it at all. To me the best payment is the therapy it provides along with positive feedback. Writing and being read makes me feel “seen” and “heard.” Writing in my blog every day is like sitting with a good friend on a country front porch talking about the way the light and shadow falls on things. And even just that is interesting enough to both of us.

Scott was a wild 4th grader. He was the first out the door at recess and the last one in. He was also extremely funny to a first year teacher. While other teachers had given up on the hispanic lightning bolt, I was ready for the challenge.

Scott had developed a shocking trend of “mooning” people on the playground. It was first brought to my attention by the noon-duty aides and then later by other students. Each time I gave him a detention and he missed his recess . . . but the mooning continued so I wrote a note home.

Being a new teacher, I was not as savvy as I am now after almost 10 years. It didn’t occur to me that his parents might not be able to read a note in English. Scott accepted the note and I told him the customary warning that if he did not bring it back the next day signed, he would have no recess and there would be a call home.

When he brought the note back, I assumed the issue was resolved . . . but then recess came. Yup, he did it again. This time I had to schedule a parent conference. I spoke timid Spanish then but I did speak with his mother over the phone and she verbosely apologized in her native tongue. We made an appointment to meet about it and I made sure I had a bilingual aide on site available to clearly translate the meeting.

In the meeting Scott sat next to his mother and I began to explain how ashamed I was to be Scott’s teacher when he did this at recess. The mother listened to the translator and then replied in Spanish to the effect of: “I know, we hate it when we do it at home and at the store, but everybody slips sometimes you know?”

After hearing the exact translation I was astonished. I said with the clearest Spanish I knew: “le permiten removar sus pantalones en publico a veces?” If you don’t speak Spanish, I said “You allow him to take off his pants in public?” If you do speak Spanish, you can see I need some tutoring. Then she said:

“QUE?”

The woman flushed immediately and looked at her son with a furor I rarely see in moms. She babbled something quick and angry at her son, slapped him on the head and then said in broken English:

“He told us you were mad at heem ’cause he deen’t tuck hees shirt een.”

In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t played the SandBar or any other venue for several months. My last gig was a while back at the Ponderosa. I played for 20 minutes in front of an audience of 18-20 year olds. It was a good experience as playing live always is. I enjoy playing “Talk to Me,” “People,” “Rockin’ in the Free World,” “Angelyne,” “Day Tripper,” and all the usual set tunes. Since my last gig however I have been occupied with teaching and spending quality time with my two kids. In that time, as many already know, Sarah found out we are pregnant and so we have been doing our “think-tank” planning for when the baby comes in May.

In place of performing music, I have switched gears into teaching music at my school where I teach 3rd grade. I have a guitar class of 9 6th graders and several classes of grades 1-6 to whom I teach music history, theory, and lead in singing. It was phenomenal the last week before Christmas break (which I am enjoying immensely I might add). My 6th graders can form their fingers into position A, D, and E. Next when we resume in January, we’ll be working on playing “This Land is Your Land” by Woody Guthrie. I was asked by my Principal to have them perform the song at the next school board meeting in January. I am excited to see my kids up there strumming away. It feels really good at this point in my career to be passing along what I know to the youth.? I don’t consider myself old at 37, but I feel I am passing through the season of life where playing clubs, bars, and coffee houses is not as interesting as it used to be. My wife thinks I should still play at the SandBar, but I am honestly enjoying my work and the extra stuff I am doing with teaching music to the elementary school kids. For now, it’s enough. My dad generously donated several guitars to my after-school classes so I am thrilled to be able to add more kids to the class in January.? My students always ask me to play something for them during each class. They like fun bluegrass stuff like “Under the Double Eagle,” and the catchy tunes I play like Angelyne. I feel like I am passing on influence to these kids that they would never otherwise get.? Ad I said already, it’s a good feeling. Playing in clubs, bars, and coffee-houses may be in my future, but certainly not for a while and for now . . . that’s ok!

To check out my music on MySpace, click below:

myspace.com/damienrileytunes