Postcards from the Funny Farm

“Keep moving forward” is one of Walt Disney’s most famous catch phrases. My godfather wrote it in my college graduation card and it meant as much to me then as it does now. There’s something about giving life your best shot and not looking back. Here are some words that describe this state:

determined, dedicated, committed (not the mental hospital kind ;) ) driven … there are more words, but I digress

I think looking back and second guessing yourself can be a very bad thing. While self-reflection and course correcting are noble attributes and certainly necessary for success, they should be done in moderation and within reason. Over analyzing and regretting can destroy a vision and a dream. The Amazing Visions out there becoming reality for millions don’t stop just because some give up on theirs. When you really don’t look back, you’ll find less use for the paranoia of the past and you’ll start looking into the higher concerns, like travel insurance, while you head on your way toward your dreams.

Today, whatever your dream is, whatever your vision, why don’t you try looking ahead without reservation. Let Possibility Thinking become your modus operandi. Don’t get paranoid about failing, don’t worry about some mistake you have already done. Our failures are our best teachers. Turn to your dream, your vision and then do all you can to make it happen and then let the chips fall where they may.

What can you do in the direction of your dream?

Before I met my wife I was in a transition work time where I worked sales for Cingular cell phones by night and substitute teaching by day. I was never really that good at sales but it taught me a lot about how to win someone over. Who knows, maybe that’s how I got my wife to marry me :) At any rate, I remember sitting in that cubicle with my stack of sales leads. Sometimes I had to go through twenty calls before a customer would bite. I was offering a renewal contract and a sweet new phone -for free- but not everybody jumped at the opportunity. Some of the leads were old and it sucked to get those because those people were like “huh? who?”

A friend recently gave me the link to Lead Dogs because my dad and brother are both still in sales. I checked it out and I absolutely loved the concept of this service. The mission of the company is simple: getting you good leads. I have had good leads in my career that literally sold the product themselves. When you have good leads, sales is like the Woody Allen quote I am wont to utter: “80% of success is showing up.” Since 1994, companies like Microsoft, Adobe, Shell and Orbitz have outsourced to The Lead Dogs to generate, manage and nurture sales leads that turn into revenue. If you are in sales or you know someone in sales, go ahead … make YOUR day by checking out LeadDogs.com

Good luck. Let me know how it goes.

This article is Part II of my series “Finest Hour of Social Networks” where I examine social networks and their effectiveness in raising real traffic (low bounce rate/readers who stay more than the duration of two clicks!) This goal is important for monetization and for building a following to your blog. If these ideas are something you’re interested in, this series will help you achieve those goals.

In this article I review and offer some tips on using: Facebook and Fuel My Blog. Here at the second article, I have found I am learning a lot about what a social network is and can be for me as a blogger. I am looking forward to looking at more of the leading social networks for bloggers and sharing my findings with you in future articles. Stay tuned!

Facebook started buzzing around the sphere about 2-3 years ago as I recall. It looked like a vanilla MySpace. For that reason, I never bothered with it much back then. I have a myspace music account that I barely update, how could another “buddy” system get any of my attention? Eventually about a year ago, I joined the service and found it visually slick looking, less cluttered than Myspace. But Facebook is really pointless unless you have “friends” there.   I emailed everyone in my Yahoo! address book and found that out of 30-something people, only three signed up to make me their friends. Then after a long tome of not logging in, I began to get requests from old friends from high school. Some people I only vaguely even remembered. Since gettingonlne now with friends I have found all the addon applications to be really fun. You can waste hours playing around on Facebook.  But, alas, killing time is not one of my 2008 goals, so I limit my time there to about once a week. The good news is though, the service emails you where there are new notices or emails from your friends. You don’t have to hang out there all the time.

In conclusion, I think making a FaceBook account and pimping it as much as you can will help your blog’s traffic. I’ve had at least two comments this past month from people who say they surfed in through Facebook. I recommend it! If you do decide to register, feel free to make me your first friend: I am rileycentral on Facbook.

Thumbs up for Facebook! Now, what about this other mysterious service they call “Fuel My Blog?” Let me tell you what I have found:

Fuel My Blog is a quasi social network where you can “fuel” blogs you like thereby bringing them closer to the top of the list in their category. Sort of like trying to scale Google, this process can make you feel powerless over your own success. Once you join, you can put a widget in your blog that shows your favorite blogs on the service. People can “fuel” the blogs there through a three-click process that is fairly easy. My hope is that their great idea of boosting blogs through clicks will develop further. Three clicks away is too much clicking when I am trying to make merss reading rounds. It’s also discouraging when you know that your clicks probably won’t do much to boost the blog anyway. Fuel My Blog is very new and has a small number of blogs in their system. You can’t be part of this unless you are registered with them and you have their widget. I’ve been good about fueling my 7 a day, but is time consuming. In the end with Fuel My Blog you have a great name with a marginaludea that looks like all the other social schmoozing sites. It would be fine to have it if it offered something new, but as of yet they haven’t. I’m getting a little tired of clicking 10-20 times a day just to boost sites I have only just met through the service. When I find someone I know , I get excited and fuel them immediately just because I know them but that is not the best motive for promoting a blog, it should be spectacular right? Finding blogs to fuel is very cumbersome and the blog must be a registered member of Fuel my Blog for your to fuel them. This lags in much the same way Alexa lags in requiring it’s toolbar to build rank for a site.

My final word on Fuel My Blog is a “sideways thumb”: a little up and a little down. They seem like very nice people (they asked me to guesblog as a regular contributor and I have done 2 blogs for them) and the company looks good on the screen with nice bright graphics. Because of reasons I listed, however, I haven’t found their service to produce the best blogs. Then again, neither does DIGG, SU, or any of the other netwrks I use. I’m alwasy on the lookout for that company who can create and innovate a social system that really gets the good stuff to the forefront. I think much has to evolve for Fuel My Blog to be something the masses will spend their precious online minutes on.

Coming next in the series:

Part III

Twitter - What can that little light blue “t” do for ya! In addition to writing on Twitter next, some may recall I was going to write on 9Rules. I changed my mind and and instead, I’ll be writing something about IZEA and Social Spark. Stay tuned!

Now it’s your turn!

What do you think of using Facebook and Fuel My Blog to build traffic?

What a week! I had five articles published outside my blog! Most were guestblogs (which I hold in very high respect, thanks to all who hosted me last week). As my friends know, this is a serious goal for me right now. In between all that, and having a family of 5 and a full time job as a teacher, the jeep attacked a lot of rock mountains on the weekly Blog Safari. I dug into Blog Catalog discussions more than I ever have (see sidebar widget). Also, I started back into 9Rules which is amazing. Between that and my regular RSS reads, I found some amazing stuff and I’ll serve it up to you here. If you have an article you’d like to see featured here some week, please drop me a line and I will check it out. As always, the articles below all received a well-deserved Stumble. Enjoy the Safari this week!

Hand holding is so… yesterday
A short but great article about how a simple touch and a bit of extra effort can improve your love life and your sex life.

Lord Likely has Some Trouble with The Brown Mist
Speaking of sex, Lord Likely is at it again. His ridiculous shenanigans get him into all kinds of laugh-a-minute situations. Read this post and may it be the one that hooks you on this very entertaining columnist.

Fuelmyblog and other social networking sites, Walking the Stacks
I really like this blog. He’s written about stuff I am currently doing a series on: social networkin.... Check out this cool article and learn as I did from it.

Twitter: what are you doing right now?
I found Tyme’s blog through 9Rules. It’s a great piece of writing. I often wonder why the hell I am on Twitter. Is it ridiculous? Read her article and see what you think.

Got Traffic Blues? Remember Balance
Kimberly is my newest sponsor here at Postcards from the Funny Farm. I will be doing a full review of her site this month as well and linking her to you where I think her services can help. Watch for that, it will be valuable to your piggy bank. This article is an example of the kind of patient and yet effective money coach she is to people who want to make money online. She shows the many ways to make it: not just through ads or clicking. I endorse her stuff heartily. Go check it out, I think you will be both surprised and impressed.

Reaching Your Goals
My main man Derek wrote a great little post on reaching goals. This is like a staple to any form of success in my life. Derek is also one of my ads featured in the right hand upper area of the fold. As a side note, through using principles he has virtually learned through trial and error and through mentors, Derek manages to bring in a sizable chuck of change every month through blogging. Check out what he has to say about goals.

38 TV Themes Recorded by the Actors Themselves
Malcolm … I need to high five you for this one!!! Folks, go look at the pictures and imagine the songs he lists in this post. Creative, hard work, labor of love went into this post … that is undeniable. This is another must for every blogroll.

Scared Silly by the Faeries
My writing and academic colleague 1/2 way across the world in Scotland wrote an entry for Shelly Tucker’s contest (which I happen to be judging). This is a great story and it really gives you an idea what Shelly is looking for in the contest. I am the judge. How did I attain this lofty position you ask? Good God I have no freakin’ idea. Maybe it’s because I never write “sex” or “freagin” in my posts ;) Seriously though, if you have a scary story and a blog go to her details post through the button below and get your post done before the submission deadline!

Tiny Url: rurl.org/kpm

BoozeCruise
Jessica the Rock Chick is one of the coolest people I know. She is able to admit when her angelic guitar player from Bon Jovi make s a huge boo boo. Get a fans rant at this post. Also, I just want to say as I have in the past that you really need to be reading Jessica’s blog, it makes me a cooler person (and God knows I have miles to go there).

Things I’m Learning from Blogging
The master .. mistress? well … Shelly anyway :) This lady has been a reader of mine for a long time and we have sort of a reciprocal love of storytelling. One of these days I’ll get to see her live (she does it for a living!) Suffice it to say, if this lady has a post about blogging and what she is learning, boy I’ll tell ya what … I’m there ;)

Easily Organize Post Categories
Katy is a very astute, prolific blogger who offers very practical and helpful information to her readers regarding blogging. This is one of those posts! I would add that “Batch Categories” is another very helpful and easy to use plugin to add to the one she lists in her article.

I was talking to someone the other day and they told me drama was inevitable in their life. I disagreed and made a suggestion that has worked for me during similar pessimistic times:

Make a list of what you want.

It’s great for focusing your own energies on your goals as well as setting an example for your family. I remember making a list like this with my wife several years ago. Many of my “dreams” on that list have since come true. For example, at the time I dabbled in a personal website but had a larger dream of being published. Since then, I’ve become a regular contributor to 3 online publishing platforms and I run 3 other blogs of my own. This has required a lot of patience on my wife’s part and a lot of hours of work on mine. I truly feel though it all started through making and sharing that list.

When making a list like this, one should let ones mind run free. Put on some relaxing music … go sit with a yellow pad under a tree … write it while sipping your favorite hot beverage … whatever. The point is, you shouldn’t let limitations of everyday family life, married life, your job, or other constraints get in the way of what you want. Things you see as impossible can materialize when you start “believing” anything can happen.

Furthermore these dreams can actually make the things you once saw as limitations transform into miracles. Those very limitations (or at least the things you see as limitations) can be the yellow brick road to your “Oz.” I am not into the modern bestseller they call “The Secret” per se, nor do I believe in karma 100%. I say 100% because I do believe in the direction of dreams. I see proof of it in people like Walt Disney, Wrig.... Then there’s me for example, when I see myself as a successful writer there is an energy there that brings things into concert with itself. But unlike the required success of the Secret, even if I don’t turn out being as famous as I’d hoped, I have an amazing experience along the way. When your cause is true, you can’t lose.

I think I’m about due for a new list.

It’s not that my dreams have all come true, but many have. My dream list now is more about simplifying. I want to be able to maintain the projects I’ve been blessed with. To further the writing example (just one of my many dreams): I want to be a great writer that creates images with words for people, like paths to paradise. I want to keep every writing endeavor “holy,” not in the religious sense but in the sense Allen Ginsberg talked about: sacred.

I know that through time my dreams will change, but I will not stop having them and writing them down. One day when my kids read these words, and they will because I’ve made a plan to keep these blogs intact ... hopefully many many years from now, they will know above all else that I was not a coward about dreaming. Their dad sets out to define what he wants and then works to make it happen. They are living proof since all three of them were once my dreams. The list is a good thing, I strongly recommend you make on and then get back to me on this question:

What’s in your book of dreams?

I wanted to let the blog know that I had my observation and post-conference today. It went very well. I received a passing score in all domains and some very nice things were said about me in the write-up.Okay I can breathe now.

I’m not one to hide fear, I think it helps the world to show your weakness. It helps people more than pretending you are always 100% confident.

You may recall I published an article on BlogCritics this month about the whole process I was going through:

My article on BlogCritics on how to survive and th...

(esp. note my response to the first comment about inequity in some evaluation pr... for teachers … Amidst my optimism it’s important to note my view on that.)

-Damien

Martin Luther King was asked to head up the protest against the bus system when he was 26 years old. 26. Now if you are younger than 26, as I know at least 2 of my readers are, you don’t think that sounds young. Maybe it isn’t. But when you think of the influence this man had on the world to end racial segregation, you have to agree that he was already aware of what he was doing when most people are still trying to find their “calling.”

This is a message to us all that our lives have influence and if we do the right thing, we can affect change. 

Having a friend who is a superstar (Gwen) and working in a field where I come across famous authors and minds frequently, I live in the “I am Nothing Syndrome” quite a bit. I think there is a way to turn it around though. Instead of lamenting not being as famous and effectual as these people, why not realize that life is fleeting and I need to have some influence as I am as who I am now, today.

MLK takes me out of the “I am Nothing Syndrome.” I feel like if I met him in heaven he might say: “You are worthy, you’re no better or worse than I was. You can change your world by doing what matters come what may.”

Online dating helped me find and marry my soul mate Sarah. I even found her during the “free trial” period so the service was free! I thought I’d write a blurb about Yahoo! Personals because I feature them as an advertiser. It isn’t just demographics that makes me do so (most my core readers are married). On the other hand, I chose them because I believe in their product. Most of all, I feature their ads because it worked for me.

I remember at that time feeling quite lonely in a new town with a new job and Yahoo! Personals connected me with Sarah when I really had no friends or family around to help me meet people. (interested readers can find more details on our &#....)

It works like this: You sign up and upload a small picture of yourself (actually this is optional but it really speeds things up!) Then, you fill out some profile questions and send out a few emails to members that you are interested in. Some, you will find, are indeed certified loony cases. Just keep telling yourself “All you need is ONE.” From there, as you sort through replies you will undoubtedly start to make email friendships. You will find yourself at your parents for thanksgiving sneaking to the computer to see what your online romance has to say.

If it works out perfect like it did for me, you’ll get married within a month! That was 5 years ago and now my wife and I have a wonderful family with laughs and memories that keep on going. If you are single and wanting someone special or if you know someone in your friends and family circle who feels that way, get tuned in to Yahoo! Personals. Trust me, it can work. All you Need is ONE. (and don’t be surprised when the ONE plus ONE turns into one or more beautiful kids! Be ready because it can happen fast!)

In the past year I have lost my grandfather and I’ve seen some friends lose spouses and other relations: it’s been rough. I know many people reading this can relate with the death of a loved one. I remember my grandfather, and these other people as so vibrant, so a part of life. Now that they are gone it is sobering to realize that I will never see them again. It has gotten me to thinking about what really matters in life. I first mentioned this “think about what you will leave behind” notion in my past post “So, What Do You Want on Your Tombstone,” and the idea has grown and coalesced even up to now all these months later. It’s become like a lighthouse for me, influencing my choices and making me a better man by the day.

There are accolades at my work to strive for if one chooses to. You can do what it takes and get a small plaque presented to you … etc. Or, you can think about those who have gone ahead of you and what they have left behind that matters. In the entrance to our auditorium at the school where I teach there is a photo case. In that photo-case is a montage picture of the teachers when the school opened in 1985. I was 15 at the time. The teachers in the picture have retro 80’s shirts and most the men have beards. The pattern on the clothes are the kind you just don’t see nowadays. It was a different time but the teachers them were flesh and blood as I am now with my staff. Losing my grandfather got me thinking more about what I will leave behind by way of legacy and less about what I can get out of life while I’m alive.

Leaving something behind is my biggest passion. I’ll admit, while writing blog posts I think about how my kids will one day read them. I think about whether to include all my rants when I don’t see as they will offer them any help in life. I think this is a good filter. This mindset also filters out the drama of my work. When I am only concerened with making a contribution, the gossip lines fade in order of importance. I want to leave behind a model of passion for teaching, for blogging, for guitar and piano and the appreciation of many kinds of music. I want people to be encouraged by what I have done and believe they can do even better. When I think of how animated and gregarious my Grandpa was in his 85 years, I get inspired to live fully. If I can encourage even one other person to do that, then I will feel my life was success. That kind of influence is what I hope to leave behind. If you could leave behind just 3 things, what would they be?

1. ?

2. ?

3. ?