Postcards from the Funny Farm

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Beware, this post is not your usually “blue-sky” writing Damien. But, I think this post is very important to consider. Maybe the full moon seized my psyche, who knows. Yesterday I wrote a post on how we must give to others even when they can̵.... This is the sign of an evolved mind, a seeker of goodness. As Dale Carnegie pointed out, we are worthless if we can’t do this. have you ever been shocked when someone tried to give you something and you thought there was a “catch” and then you finally found out there wasn’t? I have been in that position and it makes you feel like a real jerk. Our perspective of the world needs to be optimistic and the best way we change this is to do these acts of kindness for others on purpose expecting nothing in return. Like I said yesterday: try it and you will see why I recommend this. It is a way to show unconditional love and release that energy into your world.

But hold on cowboys and cowgirls … when should you hold back? Should you serve everyone the same way? Is showing unconditional love always the best way to happiness?

If you are of the Judeo-Christian worldview, you know what Jesus said and others like him in the old testament. He was asked: “How many times shall I forgive? Seven times?” and he replied in the famous aphorism: “…seventy times seven.” This is a really non-realistic example. If I am to forgive someone perpetually I am just more or less a ding-a-ling and I deserve to get taken advantage of.

If you are not a Christian, you are likely still of the general belief that it is always better to serve other people all the time. For the same reasons, this is faulty thinking and we need to get it straight in our heads if we want to be productive, string people that have the ability to help others at all.

You see there comes a point when we become tired enablers. people around us get used to us doing their work for them and ours suffers. This is a dangerous place. When you become a reckless helper, you can lose sight of the things that are falling apart in your own world. For that reason you need to be very aware of your energy threshold and when you start taking on too much, you need to tell people no without shame. I helped too many people the other day and could barely get my stuff at work done.

Do all that you can do without depleting your energy. For example, if you have to weed your garden and you go over to help your neighbor weed theirs, you may risk not getting your own chores done. If you can help them a little and maybe show them a technique you know this is better. There is a time to stop giving and that is the time when you feel your resources are depleting. If you can’t get your own stuff done, then you have no business helping others for the sake of helping. That’s the time to take a few cruises, or something just for you.

Your answer to that question may be the reason you’re not getting what you want.

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

-Dale Carnegie

Of all his quotes, this one is the best in my opinion. It’s like the old adage your mother and father said when you were young: “If you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend.” Ah if it were only so simple to put into practice. Here’s a gem of knowledge I’ve picked up: aspirers to greatness, get out your pens.

When fettered by the pressures of the day, there is a way out. Well, I’ll call it a way through since “way out” connotes quitting. Instead of focusing on your pressures and concerns, tell yourself on the way to work or whatever it is you are doing: “I will try and help others first today.” You will find this to be a transformative experience that will open your mind more to those around you. As a result, you will be more accepting and your troubles will likely become easier to deal with. I wouldn’t recommend this unless I had tried it. And as always, I write it here in part to remind myself to use it. Try thinking of others above yourself tomorrow and see what happens. I think you’ll be pleased and surprised.

Today I had a rough first day back at work. I’m a 4th grade teacher in California and my school just put new carpet in my room. As a result, I had to take every item out of storage and rearrange all my things from the heaviest desks to the minutiae of staples. Tomorrow I have my biggest chore: the walls. I have to hang colored butcher paper and staple them up. It’s a daunting task, if you are a teacher you know.

When it was time to go home I could have gone home to take a nap (which I considered) but I thought taking my wife out to the new sports-bar pizza joint would be more inspiring. It was tasty and they even had a popcorn machines. As I had a few Amber ales and chatted with my wife, my troubles seemed smaller. I looked around and saw the many other people in the evening restaurant air and imagined their problems. Despite them, they were laughing and giving high-fives … I was glad to be with them.

My point of this vignette: get out more. Often when we want to hide from our duties and jobs what we really need is just to put ourselves where the people are. That’s where we find we aren’t any better or worse off than most of them

Owners do “walk-throughs” starting at the storefront. Then, they adjust and repair things accordingly. I have always seen a parallel in a storefront to the self.

When you enter a store, hopefully there is an owner who thinks about you, the customer. If you need something, he’ll guide you to that place. If you have a complaint, or if someone treats you unfairly, he’ll step in to make it right by you. Owners accept everything.

When I was an area coach for Pizza Hut, I used to love to see my managers out in front of the store picking up slips of trash and sweeping. It showed ownership. We as ordinary people seeking self-improvement need to step back and check our own storefront, which is “the self.”

Here are some points you might find on that sort of checklist:

Appearance: A big one. How do I look? The way we present ourselves to the world affects the way we are received. Success isn’t all luck as many failures would have us believe.

Friendliness: Do I look people in the eye? Do I show concern for their needs? Am I interested? Being friendly with the world outside the storefront develops our reputation person by person and often brings in to us better opportunities. Owners commit themselves to listening then finding solutions.

Service: Was I able to help people around me today? Did I steer people in the right direction? Did I engage in conversation that was helpful?

Relevance: Was I relevant? Have I striven to become effective in relevant areas of my work, my friends, my family?

If I am a storefront then how do I look? If I am the store, how am I inside and more importantly, how would others rate me? Ultimately we should mostly strive to pass our own rating since the crowd can be fickle. Still, let us never forget that every person’s view of us is, at varying levels, important.

Now, step back and look at yourself: If only for this day, own the storefront, the world will notice.

Need a project management product for your company’s next project? I’ve got the one for you. From the website:

Atlantic Global’s Project Management Software is designed for large, medium and small businesses. Atlantic Global’s Project Management Software seamlessly integrates data from all parts of your business and making it available to everyone who touches your projects – from the proposal stage all the way through final billing.

In todays fast paced world of telecommuting, email, blackberries, faxing (yes they still do that!), and project multi-tasking, you need a powerful, multi-faceted software to help you get it done. This software has many features I had the chance to sample from the website. It puts together very helpful reports that make its effectiveness clear. My favorite feature is that it has multiple user levels so you can manage from the top down. It has these three roles integrated into it’s structure:

1. Business Leader
2. Project Manager
3. Team member

Emails and spreadsheets can be made available to a worker in accordance with their level that is assigned.

If Work Has You Scattered: Project Management Software can save your ship. I’ve used project management software in my line of work and I can tell you it is a lifesaver when you find the right one.

Summers can be for resting, especially if you are a teacher. They can also be times to test yourself and learn lessons that benefit you all Winter long. Going along with the teacher thought, I want to raise the idea of “training.” In all businesses there is an element of training. This training is usually meant to stretch the worker to a place where she/he will be more productive.

Along the way to increased productivity unfortunately we meet Mr. discomfort and sometimes … Mr. pain. Do you know him?

Training is about opening your mind. Many of us have minds that are so closed they must be pried open. That has been my mind this summer. I’ve been teaching 8th graders that cuss and insult adults and consider themselves adults on top of it all. I realize now, with only 2 days remaining in the session, that this has been training. Like ankle weights for when I return to my 4th grade class. I don’t like to dwell too much on my own occupation in these posts. It is meant to be a parallel to your job, your “training.”

As you probably know from reading my blog, I am always analyzing and seeking new cognitive strategies to battle life’s troubles. Sometimes I even see it as a sport. I am a student of psychology and a fan of all human things that inspire.

But sometimes you have to just live it.

I have 900+ posts and counting here. Each post has some sort of cognitive mechanism conveyed. In a simpler word: ADVICE FOR YOU. And, maybe myself? Well, this post is here to stop the advice. I hope you can transfer that to your life whether you are a Type A personality or not, you give yourself advice I know. It is occasionally time to stop training and just live your stuff out. The yellow pad is a great tool but you can’t walk through life with it at your side. You are creative, you are responsible. Why not lay down the cognitive stuff and simply trust yourself for a while. I think you will be proud of yourself in a while when you stop and look back on what you’ve lived. You will also find your mind was more open because you let go. To close, remember this: you can shop for treadmills all day, but until you get on one, you aren’t exercising.

I’ve been in a situation recently where my physical body/animal brain was moving me to retaliate against someone who offended me (actually a couple people) and at the same time my intellect was telling me to relent, or hold off until I’d calmed down. I won’t get into specifics because that’s not my point here. I’ll tell you I did relent and I am so glad.

Once I calmed down and reassessed the situation, I realized that while my feelings were 100% valid, they were not a good determiner of action. In fact, if my feelings had determined my actions in the professional environment, in this case I could have severed (possibly permanently) networks with key people likely to be in my circle until I retire. When the hot cools down from work days like that, you have some amazing realizations reclining at home or jumping on your trampoline. You have no idea what they will be in the heat of the moment.

So what did I learn from this and why am I sharing? Well, as I have said over and over, I write about psychology and inspiration here in order to better your life. It isn’t therapy for me. If it were you’d read a lot of bad words etc. I am thinking and analyzing my life all the time for good lessons to share with you. I hope these lessons advance you in your journey. That is why I blog on psychology and inspiration. In this post, my lesson is simple: In the professional environment, let facts not feelings determine your actions.

When you feel upset, insulted, or angry, these are usually products of a bruised ego and not the real you (as Eckhart calls the “being”). Relenting when you feel badly can help you recover your sense of being and throw off your ego. So, here are the three things I did when I was offended/mistreated recently at work. Translated into your life, I hope they help you save yourself some grief and advance like I did:

1. Get the facts written down.
2. Write down a note (official in wording) to the offending party(ies) stating the wrong done to you and DONT SEND IT. Put it in your wallet folded tightly closed.
3. Forget about it and go about your day.
4. Later in the evening, pull out the letter. You may be ashamed you wrote it, but keep it for 3 days. If the issue does come up, you will be upset and you can take the note out for the facts that emotion may cause you to forget.

That’s it! As I have said (to the rhythm of something Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled,

I’m no expert on psychology but I have read more on psychology than some psychology experts :)

Now you’ve read some of that yourself, succinctly put in a blog post. At work, be a real man (or woman) and act on facts, not on feelings. Do what you have to do to stay cool. Another thing I do, and I have written on the value of a music CD, is make and listen to a CD of the best tunes I know.

Quick after thought: WATCH OUT! Something is at risk with this kind of talk, and it’s your job! You will be better off to use this approach but remember you should never forget any wrong done to you against the law or your contract. Write it down! All I am saying to do is to deal with it later.

If there is one post worthy of you slowing down to read today, it is this one. The writing contest results are in and posted here. It was a truly enjoyable time gathering the posts for this writing contest. Congratulations to the winners. To all who participated I say thank you for sharing your amazing visions with me, my readers, and the interweb.

I chose this topic for my contest because I have always been fascinated by Amazing Visionaries. They range from Walt Disney (photo: wikipedia) to Pat Rodgers (my grandfather). By watching their moves, I have been able to recreate some of that success in my own life. And I have written about it.

I heard a story many years ago about how the new tellers at banks get to spend a week handling money … nothing more. The reasoning behind this was so that the tellers could detect a fact having been made so familiar with the real. When we study the look of a successful person’s moves, we too can avoid being duped by false success stories. Just like the well known authorize.net spots fraudulent consumers, so these posts will help you spot the bad examples as well as the ones to follow.

The stories mentioned here are the “real deal.” By collecting them and putting them in one place, hopefully it will rub off on us. If you enjoyed the links, please bookmark this page, as well as the permalinks individually, and share them with others. In my opinion, now more than ever, the world needs more amazing visions! I think you will be inspired by what you read here.

Below are the 6 winning urls for “Amazing Visions: Blog Carnival Edition 2.” After that are links to all the entries. Why hold them back when inspiration is so lacking in our times! I hope you enjoy reading all of them as much as I did. Stay tuned to Postcards for Edition 3 in the near future.

TOP 3

1. How I got Started with Blogging and Freelance Writ... by Michael Kwan
2. Mother Teresa on Love by Chelle
3. How to become what you want to become, in about tw... posted at I Will Not Die.

Honorable Mentions

1. An Entry from Torri’s Travels by Torri
2. Nick’s Entry on Randy Pausch posted at Romandock
3. Amazing Vision - Mahatma Gandhi posted at Growing Happiness.

Though they didn’t get in the top three, these highly well written posts are the rest of these amazing visions . . . Please read them, you will find strength and inspiration. (Thank you again to these bloggers!) -in no particular order …

Josh Waitzkin an Inspiring Performer by Isabella Mori

A One Man Peacekeeping Force by Alexander

She’s Inspiration by Katelynjane

How Hokusai can Inspire Designers and Bloggers posted at Designer Daily

The Los Lunas Decalogue Stone - How In The World D... posted at Shattered Paradigm.

Privilege to Be with a Loved One at the Time of De... posted at Andy, saying, “My dad was one of my greatest heroes. This is my tribute to his legacy.”

(and one of my own I just threw in at the end!)

Amazing People and Things by Damien Riley

Today I feel like I am writing the manual on how to succeed at my life. It may not be the manual for anyone else, but smart people oughta find some carryover ;) The working title I think is: “Create. Innovate, and Integrate.” Like a tv plugs into a HDMI cable, plug into this message and get inspired!

I’ve gotten to used to being the one to do the job right. If you knew me, you’d know that isn’t self-congratulatory … it’s the truth. I’m a teacher and I have seen half-wits come and go from the profession like moths to a flame. Some people (many people) just don’t have what it takes. I’ve been watching a bit of The Academy on the Fox Reality Channel lately and seen the same thing happening with their recruits. Some just can’t do what is necessary to get to be cops. In teaching, you can usually see right away the ones who can’t cut it. They flip out on kids, lose kids, fail to raise test scores, they offend other teachers, etc … These folks come passing through the profession but never really take it by the reins and make it their own. I hope I’ve done that. It feels like I have. I worked my first day of summer school today and I have to tell you I am WORKED OVER! These 28 6th graders are going to give me a test like I may never have felt before. In the second six weeks, I teach 7th grade for another three. At that point don’t be surprised to read the confessions of a depressed teacher … that very well may be my state of mind. Nahhhh not me. But seriously, stay tuned to read those accounts, it should be a drama-filled challenge of a time.

Okay, now onto my point. If you are one of the “frozen chosen” in your field, as I have already shared I am, make sure you create, innovate, and integrate your ideas while you are in your working years. You owe it to the next folks to make the profession better after having passed through it. It’s a heavy burden but you can do it. More importantly, if you don’t, no one else will. My point today is this: If you want to have an impact and be successful in your trade, DO IT THE LONG WAY, no short cuts. Seek out books and trainings to be better at what you do and when you get home, make sure you have a jacuzzi (LOL). -Or- some way yo know to relax and get away from thinking about work.

Now, get your rest (if you are reading this from home). If you are at work: GO BE THE STAR THAT YOU ARE! Here’s an example of what it might look like in my job:

Create: Write your rules on the board

Innovate: Develop a foolproof way to teach them, be unique.

Integrate: Get up there and teach it and have success.

Are you creating, innovating, and integrating your profession?

I have music around me as much as possible. It lifts my spirit and makes me more human, I think. Someone might say that I am in my own la la land because I have a playlist for before the kids get here called “Feelin’ Good Classroom Music.” To that voice I say: “No, it took effort to get those songs loaded and it takes effort to press play when I get to work.” I put music and meditation on a high pedestal when it comes to work. In a given day I am barraged with requests from the administration, parents, and of course the kids have many needs. As an educator, it is easy to get caught up in my “to do list” and stress over it. When I stress out, the first casualty is my creativity and that ironically is that can solve most these professional issues of stress.

In short: I need music at the beginning of the day.

I’ve read that every one of the 5 senses has a different component related to memory. Scent, for example, has hedonic component where if you smell something you haven’t smelled since you were a kid, you might recall volumes of memories … it can even be overwhelming causing people to pass out I have read. Music is like that as well.

I have on this songlist music that takes me away to a place where I feel free and open to create and innovate my work. I also have a big comfy desk chair that I bought years ago at a discount furniture. It helps the musical effect, let me tell you! I am a moody person, to put it simply. For me, music is just as important as a drug would be. Recognizing that and being responsible to have a boombox or computer playlist in my work area is a facet of responsibility, no la la land here ;)

There are meditation actions one can take such as TM, prayer, mantra repetition and others. These are also important. There are so man things I can do proactively to have a great day at work. Nothing, however, prepares me better for my job of creativity and patience than quality time hearing musical notes and melodies being played in the morning. Whether it’s Theme from a Summer Place or DEVO singing Girl You Want from the Tank Girl soundtrack, playlist rules and I know it makes me a better teacher in a good mood every day.

Have you made a “Feelin’ Good” playlist?